...And Spartans on Attack

Figure 1-2: A metaphor for minimalist warmongering

First and foremost, everything I have read about the Hub incident sickens me. I don't care what started it, do these players not know they are held to a higher standard? Could they be that stupid?

The short answer is yes. Reports stem from Chris Bell off the top rope, to a good old fashion stomping from the lineman. I'm through with these lesions. Suspend for first offense. Otherwise, get rid of 'em.

Baker needs to be banished from Happy valley forever. His thugginess belongs somewhere south of the border, but definitely not at PSU.

Timmons is done for the year. Additionally, he now has to change his first name. No player named "Knowledge" should be involved in two altercations in one year. That's just flat out hypocritical.

As for the rest(Phil Taylor, Abe Koroma, Thom McEowen, Chris Bell, Willie Harriott, Devon Fentress, Toriano Moody and Johnnie Troutman ), screw you guys for the rest of the season, the bowl game, and spring practice. Once finals are done, tell them to pack their shit and get out of town. Call them from the bowl game. Tell them it is mandatory to get involved in Jerome Hayes' anger management class. It worked wonders for him (see Notre Dame cheapshots). Tell each one of them they have to apologize to the graduating seniors for screwing up their team.

Think about this-would Joe have put up with this back in the 80s and 90s? NO, resoundingly. Back then, people were kicked off the team for having a beer at the airport.

Now what? We have a not-so-police friendly Michigan State coming into town this weekend. This is another team that should have beat Michigan, but alas, they cannot defend the long ball. Well, maybe that's not fair considering Michigan lost Tacopants to the Philadelphia Eagles.

My scouting of MSU comes from watching said game. The first half, they were awful. The second half, they decided to just keep the ball on the ground, with great results.

For PSU to win:

• Pray that the underclassmen can step up.
• Same offensive gameplan as Purdue
• Michigan can run the ball effectively-Bolster the middle of the line with Connor. Keep Lee or Sales attached to MSU wunderkind TE Kellen Davis-he and Devon Thomas are a real threat to our blitz.
• Maurice Evans has to wreak havoc again. I hate the fact that we have to rely on him due to incarceration, but there it is.
• No more kicks returned for TDs.

I would be more optimistic if we had Bowman and Baker with us. But I can't be. This was supposed to be the season where Morelli becomes the leader of the offense, the D shuts everyone down, and free beer.

PSU 23, MSU 13. What can I say, I am indeed still a believer that somehow this team will find a way to win against an equally crappy MSU team.

Failed expectations

• Chris Bell becomes a real threat
• Best CBs in the B10
• King a top 10 draft pick
• Scirotto dealing out justice over the middle
• Morelli becomes an above-average QB
• B10 championship
• 12-0. We never had a schedule so easy.
• Austin Scott channels LJ
• Quarless channels Kyle Brady
• Wallace starts at CB by week three at Michigan
• We beat Michigan

Maybe that one isn't fair to Wallace. Bradley had a way of playing the corners 10 yards off the LOS. It's really not Wallace's fault.

Good Stuff

What did we do right? What do we have to look forward to? Please keep in mind these are all overshadowed by the off-field behavior of certain players.

• The O-line becoming a frighteningly cohesive unit. Everyone said that this was the weak spot on our team. Ask our RBs how they feel about that prediction.
• Kinlaw and Royster. First names redacted because I keep messing them up. I talked with them last week, and they forgive me. And by "them" I meant that girl's boobs I was staring at in the bar last week. They always forgive me somehow....
• Derrick Williams-it took him awhile, but he is quickly becoming that exciting freshman we all knew from 2 years ago.
• The receiving corps. Kudos all around.
• DC-40 breaking Poz's record.
• Ending our loss streak to Iowa.

Still, the negatives are greatly outweighing the positives. I kind of just want this season to end, kick some players off the team, watch Connor get drafted, and fast forward to a great blue and white game.

And finally...

This week's Admiral Akbar award goes to the Oklahoma/Texas Tech matchup. Again, with the flimsy premace.

Recap of Last Weekend

The good:

• The food.
• I got drunk
• PSU won
• I got to see some friends

The Bad:

• Philadelphia just keeps getting dirtier
• PSU played very unremarkable football
• Morelli fumbles again.
• Event planners need to be castrated for their planning of the tailgating atmosphere. Here's why: 12 port-o-johns. 15,000 people. Nobody directing traffic. Level 3 riots at the one location that had'em. On top of that, they decided to bring a hook and ladder through the mob outside at around 10 am. Just stupifying. Organizers fully knew the size of the crowd that was coming due to the large amount of tickets sold. 69,000 tickets were bought.
• God-awful weather. At least it kept the beer cold.

Again, Philly had the chance to show the out-of-towners what a great city it is. And it dropped the ball. In short, if Philadelphia can't learn to clean itself up, it deserves the reputation of being a nasty city. I'm pretty sure that all the trash causes an unhealthy situation for the inhabitants, hence why so many mutants are running around. And these aren't the good kind, like Jean Grey and her gravity-defying breasts. Nope. Kind of like pissed off moorlock-mutants. And they are breeding...

At least I have this week to look forward to claiming this trophy:

Figure 1-1: For the love of God, why?

Seriously, I would rather just have an out-of-conference rivalry, with say, 'Bama. Both fanbases respect each other, and they could play for the lion's tail, joepa's glasses, or Bryant's hat. All three are solid. Instead, we get to play for something that looks like a freshman's architectual design from the 70's.