Friday, December 28, 2007


Peep this:
"One A&M yell leader, during a pep rally Thursday night, told the crowd that Paterno was "on his death bed" and "someone needs to find him a casket"

I know that i've complained about paterno in the past, but the following statement is in no way hypocritical:
Fuck the Aggies. You DO NOT attack the figurehead of my beloved football program. The only acceptable act of pennance would be for them all to go sit on a corncob.

That is all for now, as I need ether to calm me down.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Alamo Bowl (part 2)

Some news concerning the sporting world:
  • The Pats-Giants game will be televised nationally instead of just flying solo on the NFL network. I would have more respect for said network if they flew an add which stated, "Look, it started out as a bet. We were drunk in an Indonesian whorehouse, using high-grade opium and doling out 4-year old Asians like they were Halloween candy. Someone said that we could sell football on a niche network even if we had the worst production values possible, and found announcers who couldn't know less about football. We were wrong. We will never try this (the network, not the vice) again. Our bad." I probably would forgive them. On a side note, to truly feel the impact, I suggest that (asshat) Bryant Gumble go on "The View" for two weeks straight, just so the women can feel our pain. Look, I know they have that whole childbearing pain to deal with, but this is far worse.
  • is reporting some PSU players will not be making the trip to San Antonio:

"Five Penn State players, including starting defensive tackle Chris Baker, did not make the trip with their teammates for Saturday night's Alamo Bowl game against Texas A & M. Coach Joe Paterno had said Baker, reserve linebacker Navorro Bowman and reserve cornerback Knowledge Timmons would accompany their teammates, but that was before Centre County District Attorney Michael Madeira re-filed felony charges against Baker and Bowman for their roles in an Oct. 7 party in which they allegedly attacked and injured a man.
Timmons is facing misdemeanor charges stemming from the same incident.
Baker, Bowman and Timmons also did not travel with the team for the Nov. 17 regular-season finale at Michigan State. Also remaining behind was Willie Harriott, a backup cornerback and special-teams mainstay who had missed time earlier this season for underage drinking. He was cited Nov. 11 in Ferguson Township for driving under the influence.
Redshirt freshman tackle Tom McEowen, from Neshaminy High, did not travel with the team for unspecified reasons."

Word on the street is that McEowen is staying behind because he is academically ineligible. So bully for Paterno; there is some shred of team dignity left. That is until I saw that Morelli is refusing to talk to the media.

F-him. Play him for a half, then get Clark and/or Devlin in there. Then, pick up a competent QB coach. One that hasn't the first clue of what a playstation is.

So, instead of this being the swan song for one of the greatest LBs to ever wear the uniform, this is turned into the Morelli circus. Thanks, dude. Now go get a job tending bar, or whatever park management majors do.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Alamo Bowl

Figure 1-1: Note the sleazy hotel sign which reads "Crockett Hotel"

Well, enough of the complaining-what's done is done and now we focus in on San Antonio. Note: leave Brian Norwood behind to save on moving expenses.

I went to basic training at Lackland AFB, which is about 5 miles from downtown San Antonio. It's hot, and one's genitals get sticky. Funky, New Jersey-like smells ensue. Also, they have giant freakin' rabbits running around everywhere. And these beasts are not afraid of the scorpions. I believe they were the driving force behind "Donnie Darko".

Anyhoo, at the end of basic, everyone received an all-day pass to visit wherever one wants to. Luckily, my girlfriend at the time came down to visit me, and we*cough* liberally used her hotel downtown.

So we met up with my folks (who silently disapproved of her, but understood) along the riverwalk, and went to Dick's Last Resort. Which is the only redeeming feature of San Antonio-screaming at the waiting staff is encouraged. Further, I was allowed to discard my rib bones on the ground. It was glorious. Lastly, the Riverwalk constantly had wooden benches launched into it from said establishment. Verily, we found a taste of home.

Being now in a good mood(c'mon, I had meat and sex within 1 hour of each other), we made the obligatory trip to the Alamo. I did some fact checking on this one: a Catholic mission with 200 people held out for 13 days against 6,100 (1,500 involved in the assault) professional Mexican soldiers. You read that right. Last I checked, missions are not designed with siege repulsion in mind. What does this mean?

(any one or combination of the following apply)

  1. The Mexicans attacked a religious order. God has hated them since.
  2. The Mexicans had extremely dimwitted military leadership. Of course, Cortez sneezed and dominated this country in no time flat.
  3. The US was just that...damn...good.

So there you have it: The US gave a valiant effort, fought for 13 days, alone, and got beat. Supposed to be a romantic metaphor there, I guess. I don't know. I tend to think that the people there are more symbolic of putting up a hopeless struggle because Texas, especially Sam Houston, couldn't get their shit together to mount a decent rescue mission.

As you can tell, this post was written in a holiday hangover state. I ate most of a cow and 12 pirogi. Plus, I do think my family is full of alcoholics. Badass, polish alcoholics that can drink your family under the table, and then polka your ass off. Yeah.

Final thoughts on the Alamo Bowl tomorrow. Until then, Merry Christmas.