Almost forgot

It's been awhile, and the NFL has more than amply provided the flimsy premice to issue the Seal of Akbar!



This week's award goes to the New England Patriots, in their upcoming "effort" against the Jets. I suppose this doesn't really work because that would mean that the Pats are the Rebel Alliance, and we should be rooting against them. Why? Because FUCK THEM, that's why.

Still, the Seal of Akbar is the balls.

Ugh

Figure 1-3: No need to panic

The recent slew of coaching changes gives me some pause. To start, safeties coach Norwood (Brian's pop) is leaving the program for Baylor. I have no problem with this-he has proven himself as a very competent coach, and he deserves his chance. Best of luck to him. PSU promoted Kermit Buggs, who scores a 10 out of a possible 10 points on the freakin' cool name scale. I just pray the man doesn't have a fat wife, for obvious reasons.

Last night, Petrino bowed out of the Atlanta job, for which I also have no problem with. See yesterday's post.

Lloyd "Get off my lawn" Carr leaves Michigan. Plenty of coaches are asked to take his spot, most notably Les Miles and Greg Schiano, and all decline.

The latest rumor is that LJ senior is leaving the den, so to speak. He can't leave, as he is by far my favorite coach. Not only does he know DL talent, he consistently produces NFL lineman. In short, he gets the most from his players.

The first vacuum I would like to address is the recruiting implications. To start, Norwood is our connection in the south. D'antonio Lynn, for example. I now doubt we will be seeing him in Blue and White.

What hurts even more is the recruiting gap if we lose LJ Sr. All reports indicate that the kids love this guy, and respond to him. Personally, I would like to see him as our next coach, but that will never happen due to JayPa and Bradley looking at the rights to succession.

We know from Kermitt's record that he does have a good history of coaching, and there was probably a good reason to hire him considering that Norwood is from Texas and most likely hates the weather in HV. But who is going to fill LJ's shoes if he leaves?

I hate to admit it, but FSU was right to name a successor. This at least puts aside the uncertainty of head coaching for the next few years. But we are not FSU.

In short, I fear that:

1. A coaching exodus is about to occur
2. Said coaching exodus is occurring because Joe is going to name Jay is his successor. Read that again. If that doesn't make you scream just at least lesser obscenities, then you really don't understand why our team was doomed to fail this year.

Of course, this is all rear-eschelon paranoia. But don't be surprised if you see my face on the above picture.

Also, I think LJ looks like Rolf, so it would entirely be a photoshoppers wet dream to see the Kermitt and LJ together.

Game last night....

Figure 1-2: He's innocent, right? That's why he should gain his immediate freedom?

Did anyone else want to throw their beverage of choice at the tv last night when roddy white lifted his shirt, revealing the above t-shirt? When one makes these statements, it almost looks like a war-cry from the falcons.

First off, "free ookie" would have been much more appropriate. And funnier, considering it looks like a 3-year old's handwriting. In crayon.

(seconedit-i lifted some of this off of KSK. yeah, i am that lazy)Second, let's review the facts:Mike Vick lied about slaughtering a bunch of dogs. To federal agents, his boss, etc. Then he sort of admitted it. Then he lied about it again...on a polygraph. then he failed a drug test while out on bail. Then, the guy plead guilty.

And of course, he killed dogs in some of the most inhumane ways possible. And let's not forget the rape stand.

Ignorance of this magnitude, on both white and vick's part, should never be rewarded. Instead, the inbread mouthbreathers of atlanta still cheered.

I use mike vick as a metaphor for rampant ignorance, ghetto behavior, and extreme lack in human morality. They (his backers) use it for to signify one man's struggle against repression.

I am pretty sure MLK is spinning in his grave right now.

Edit-it just occurred to me that the above t-shirt can be construed as the falcons are giving away Michael Vick for free for any takers. Just get rid of him. If it were this, then I am a Falcons fan. Given the stupidity of the moment, i am guessing it is the former. So. Fuck. Them.

nuts, bolts, connor got

Figure 1-1: An appropriate metaphor

No sooner than I bask in the warmth of Connor's Bednarik, some asshat determines that Laurinitis should win the Butkus award for the nation's best linebacker. Something seems amiss here. Let's look at the meaningful stats for linebackers (thanks TINNOMJ, and cfbstats)

"Dan Connor had 136 tackles this year, Laurinaitis had 103. Not even close, DC-40 Dominates.Dan Connor had 14 TFL, Laurinaitis had 8.5. DC-40 is better in this regard, it is a fact. Look it up.Dan Connor had 6.5 sacks, Laurinaitis had 5. Last time I checked, 6.5 is more than 5.Dan Connor had 6 passes broken up, Laurinaitis had 1.To be fair, Laurinaitis did have 2 Interceptions this year to Dan's 1. "

and in the spirit of fairness:

Jordan Dizon: 149 tackels, 11.0 TFL, 4.0 sacks, and 2.0 interceptions.

These are respectable numbers for Dizon, so congrats to his accomplishments this year. He did better than Laurinitis, as well.

So what happenned? Connor gets the award for best defensive player. Laurinitis gets the award for best linebacker. This seems a little counter-intuitive for me. Personally, I think Glenn Dorsey should have won the Bednerik, and Connor wins best LB. At least that would make sense.