Monday, December 31, 2007

It's Over

Figure 1-1: A Happy Ending

Alamo Bowl Observations/wishes for next year
I was extremely drunk, watching this game during a wedding. The gaps were filled in the next morning by my DVR. Yay technology! Yay functioning livers!
  • Our o-line are a bunch of beasts when it comes to the run game. Royster will run for 99999999 yards next year behind them.
  • Congrats to Kinlaw on a successfully ending collegiate career. The man is the definition of class. He should at least get a tryout on an NFL team.
  • Congrats to Connor. You were no Poz, but I am pretty sure that only one person on this planet is. I thank you for everything you have done for the program.
  • Congrats to Terrel Golden on a great senior year. Given the person passing to you, it was more than I could have hoped for.
  • Good job receiving corps-you made up for a lackluster 2006 season, especially Butler and D-Will. Am looking forward to another year.
  • Kevin Kelly-screw you, learn how to kick. We have been extremely patient with your ass. Either start making tough field goals or get the hell off the team.
  • I wish Clark would have had a pass attempt. Regardless, good job luggin' tha rock. See ya next year.
Final Morelli Rant
Well, our abusive relationship with Morelli is over. Please note that before he left, he gave a final homage to the Sex Cannon.
God Forbid, he ever come back as a coordinator. Now go tend bar.
Despite my hangover Sunday morning, I felt great. PSU had won the bowl game, and we can finally put behind such a Fulmeristic year behind us. Please, no more off field distractions.

Friday, December 28, 2007


Peep this:
"One A&M yell leader, during a pep rally Thursday night, told the crowd that Paterno was "on his death bed" and "someone needs to find him a casket"

I know that i've complained about paterno in the past, but the following statement is in no way hypocritical:
Fuck the Aggies. You DO NOT attack the figurehead of my beloved football program. The only acceptable act of pennance would be for them all to go sit on a corncob.

That is all for now, as I need ether to calm me down.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Alamo Bowl (part 2)

Some news concerning the sporting world:
  • The Pats-Giants game will be televised nationally instead of just flying solo on the NFL network. I would have more respect for said network if they flew an add which stated, "Look, it started out as a bet. We were drunk in an Indonesian whorehouse, using high-grade opium and doling out 4-year old Asians like they were Halloween candy. Someone said that we could sell football on a niche network even if we had the worst production values possible, and found announcers who couldn't know less about football. We were wrong. We will never try this (the network, not the vice) again. Our bad." I probably would forgive them. On a side note, to truly feel the impact, I suggest that (asshat) Bryant Gumble go on "The View" for two weeks straight, just so the women can feel our pain. Look, I know they have that whole childbearing pain to deal with, but this is far worse.
  • is reporting some PSU players will not be making the trip to San Antonio:

"Five Penn State players, including starting defensive tackle Chris Baker, did not make the trip with their teammates for Saturday night's Alamo Bowl game against Texas A & M. Coach Joe Paterno had said Baker, reserve linebacker Navorro Bowman and reserve cornerback Knowledge Timmons would accompany their teammates, but that was before Centre County District Attorney Michael Madeira re-filed felony charges against Baker and Bowman for their roles in an Oct. 7 party in which they allegedly attacked and injured a man.
Timmons is facing misdemeanor charges stemming from the same incident.
Baker, Bowman and Timmons also did not travel with the team for the Nov. 17 regular-season finale at Michigan State. Also remaining behind was Willie Harriott, a backup cornerback and special-teams mainstay who had missed time earlier this season for underage drinking. He was cited Nov. 11 in Ferguson Township for driving under the influence.
Redshirt freshman tackle Tom McEowen, from Neshaminy High, did not travel with the team for unspecified reasons."

Word on the street is that McEowen is staying behind because he is academically ineligible. So bully for Paterno; there is some shred of team dignity left. That is until I saw that Morelli is refusing to talk to the media.

F-him. Play him for a half, then get Clark and/or Devlin in there. Then, pick up a competent QB coach. One that hasn't the first clue of what a playstation is.

So, instead of this being the swan song for one of the greatest LBs to ever wear the uniform, this is turned into the Morelli circus. Thanks, dude. Now go get a job tending bar, or whatever park management majors do.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

The Alamo Bowl

Figure 1-1: Note the sleazy hotel sign which reads "Crockett Hotel"

Well, enough of the complaining-what's done is done and now we focus in on San Antonio. Note: leave Brian Norwood behind to save on moving expenses.

I went to basic training at Lackland AFB, which is about 5 miles from downtown San Antonio. It's hot, and one's genitals get sticky. Funky, New Jersey-like smells ensue. Also, they have giant freakin' rabbits running around everywhere. And these beasts are not afraid of the scorpions. I believe they were the driving force behind "Donnie Darko".

Anyhoo, at the end of basic, everyone received an all-day pass to visit wherever one wants to. Luckily, my girlfriend at the time came down to visit me, and we*cough* liberally used her hotel downtown.

So we met up with my folks (who silently disapproved of her, but understood) along the riverwalk, and went to Dick's Last Resort. Which is the only redeeming feature of San Antonio-screaming at the waiting staff is encouraged. Further, I was allowed to discard my rib bones on the ground. It was glorious. Lastly, the Riverwalk constantly had wooden benches launched into it from said establishment. Verily, we found a taste of home.

Being now in a good mood(c'mon, I had meat and sex within 1 hour of each other), we made the obligatory trip to the Alamo. I did some fact checking on this one: a Catholic mission with 200 people held out for 13 days against 6,100 (1,500 involved in the assault) professional Mexican soldiers. You read that right. Last I checked, missions are not designed with siege repulsion in mind. What does this mean?

(any one or combination of the following apply)

  1. The Mexicans attacked a religious order. God has hated them since.
  2. The Mexicans had extremely dimwitted military leadership. Of course, Cortez sneezed and dominated this country in no time flat.
  3. The US was just that...damn...good.

So there you have it: The US gave a valiant effort, fought for 13 days, alone, and got beat. Supposed to be a romantic metaphor there, I guess. I don't know. I tend to think that the people there are more symbolic of putting up a hopeless struggle because Texas, especially Sam Houston, couldn't get their shit together to mount a decent rescue mission.

As you can tell, this post was written in a holiday hangover state. I ate most of a cow and 12 pirogi. Plus, I do think my family is full of alcoholics. Badass, polish alcoholics that can drink your family under the table, and then polka your ass off. Yeah.

Final thoughts on the Alamo Bowl tomorrow. Until then, Merry Christmas.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Almost forgot

It's been awhile, and the NFL has more than amply provided the flimsy premice to issue the Seal of Akbar!

This week's award goes to the New England Patriots, in their upcoming "effort" against the Jets. I suppose this doesn't really work because that would mean that the Pats are the Rebel Alliance, and we should be rooting against them. Why? Because FUCK THEM, that's why.

Still, the Seal of Akbar is the balls.


Figure 1-3: No need to panic
The recent slew of coaching changes gives me some pause. To start, safeties coach Norwood (Brian's pop) is leaving the program for Baylor. I have no problem with this-he has proven himself as a very competent coach, and he deserves his chance. Best of luck to him. PSU promoted Kermit Buggs, who scores a 10 out of a possible 10 points on the freakin' cool name scale. I just pray the man doesn't have a fat wife, for obvious reasons.
Last night, Petrino bowed out of the Atlanta job, for which I also have no problem with. See yesterday's post.
Lloyd "Get off my lawn" Carr leaves Michigan. Plenty of coaches are asked to take his spot, most notably Les Miles and Greg Schiano, and all decline.
The latest rumor is that LJ senior is leaving the den, so to speak. He can't leave, as he is by far my favorite coach. Not only does he know DL talent, he consistently produces NFL lineman. In short, he gets the most from his players.
The first vacuum I would like to address is the recruiting implications. To start, Norwood is our connection in the south. D'antonio Lynn, for example. I now doubt we will be seeing him in Blue and White.
What hurts even more is the recruiting gap if we lose LJ Sr. All reports indicate that the kids love this guy, and respond to him. Personally, I would like to see him as our next coach, but that will never happen due to JayPa and Bradley looking at the rights to succession.
We know from Kermitt's record that he does have a good history of coaching, and there was probably a good reason to hire him considering that Norwood is from Texas and most likely hates the weather in HV. But who is going to fill LJ's shoes if he leaves?
I hate to admit it, but FSU was right to name a successor. This at least puts aside the uncertainty of head coaching for the next few years. But we are not FSU.
In short, I fear that:
  1. A coaching exodus is about to occur
  2. Said coaching exodus is occurring because Joe is going to name Jay is his successor. Read that again. If that doesn't make you scream just at least lesser obscenities, then you really don't understand why our team was doomed to fail this year.

Of course, this is all rear-eschelon paranoia. But don't be surprised if you see my face on the above picture.

Also, I think LJ looks like Rolf, so it would entirely be a photoshoppers wet dream to see the Kermitt and LJ together.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Game last night....

Figure 1-2: He's innocent, right? That's why he should gain his immediate freedom?

Did anyone else want to throw their beverage of choice at the tv last night when roddy white lifted his shirt, revealing the above t-shirt? When one makes these statements, it almost looks like a war-cry from the falcons.

First off, "free ookie" would have been much more appropriate. And funnier, considering it looks like a 3-year old's handwriting. In crayon.

(seconedit-i lifted some of this off of KSK. yeah, i am that lazy)Second, let's review the facts:Mike Vick lied about slaughtering a bunch of dogs. To federal agents, his boss, etc. Then he sort of admitted it. Then he lied about it again...on a polygraph. then he failed a drug test while out on bail. Then, the guy plead guilty.
And of course, he killed dogs in some of the most inhumane ways possible. And let's not forget the rape stand.

Ignorance of this magnitude, on both white and vick's part, should never be rewarded. Instead, the inbread mouthbreathers of atlanta still cheered.

I use mike vick as a metaphor for rampant ignorance, ghetto behavior, and extreme lack in human morality. They (his backers) use it for to signify one man's struggle against repression.

I am pretty sure MLK is spinning in his grave right now.
Edit-it just occurred to me that the above t-shirt can be construed as the falcons are giving away Michael Vick for free for any takers. Just get rid of him. If it were this, then I am a Falcons fan. Given the stupidity of the moment, i am guessing it is the former. So. Fuck. Them.

Monday, December 10, 2007

nuts, bolts, connor got

Figure 1-1: An appropriate metaphor
No sooner than I bask in the warmth of Connor's Bednarik, some asshat determines that Laurinitis should win the Butkus award for the nation's best linebacker. Something seems amiss here. Let's look at the meaningful stats for linebackers (thanks TINNOMJ, and cfbstats)
"Dan Connor had 136 tackles this year, Laurinaitis had 103. Not even close, DC-40 Dominates.Dan Connor had 14 TFL, Laurinaitis had 8.5. DC-40 is better in this regard, it is a fact. Look it up.Dan Connor had 6.5 sacks, Laurinaitis had 5. Last time I checked, 6.5 is more than 5.Dan Connor had 6 passes broken up, Laurinaitis had 1.To be fair, Laurinaitis did have 2 Interceptions this year to Dan's 1. "
and in the spirit of fairness:
Jordan Dizon: 149 tackels, 11.0 TFL, 4.0 sacks, and 2.0 interceptions.
These are respectable numbers for Dizon, so congrats to his accomplishments this year. He did better than Laurinitis, as well.
So what happenned? Connor gets the award for best defensive player. Laurinitis gets the award for best linebacker. This seems a little counter-intuitive for me. Personally, I think Glenn Dorsey should have won the Bednerik, and Connor wins best LB. At least that would make sense.

Friday, December 7, 2007

it's been awhile.....

Figure 1-1: Remember, Dan, that you have to defile the corpse by urinating on it. Otherwise, it just keeps coming back.

A big congratulations to Dan Connor for winning the Chuck Bednarik award for college football's best defensive player. He beat out the notable DT from LSU, Dorsey (can't remember his first name and too hungover to research), and the less notable James Laurinits. So OSU can sukkit. Every month some asshat from OSU goes onto shooting his man-pleaser off about how their school is the real Linebacker U. Do you have better linebackers? really? what hardware did you get.....awwwwwwwww. While I do admit Laurinitis is a good in pass coverage, that's about all he does well. And run stopping is kind of a good think in a linebacker. I am actually kind of impressed he won it over the Dorsey soul-eater.
So now onto the bowl season. We got Texas A&M. Interesting matchup. Remeber last time we met they bragged about how their linebackers were better? Yeah, that was good times.
The only thing I know about the Aggies is that Bear Bryant was once their coach. And Tom Beringer was too, i think. It was an espn special about 60 dudes in the texas heat, sweating on each other, cursing, and shirts off. There may have been football involved, but who has time for that?
(note: this is my most flagrantly non-gay post ever. If you even raise an eyebrow to what i wrote above, you are gay, ande i will question your manhood in public)
They are also horrible at building towers. Too soon?

Monday, November 26, 2007

On to other news

  • The Eagles almost beat the Pats last night. If not for two god-awful passes, the outcome might have been different. As my roomate put it, "Feeley throws the ball too late in the route, and then hangs it up there". Yeah, that's about right. However, I found myself thinking during this game, "Is it me, or does this OL only block for qbs NOT named McNabb?" Dunno. Still, an inspired performance like that is worthy of being chronicalled in an anthem by Rush.
  • Speaking of Futrama references:

Figure 1-1: Good News Everyone! The long wait is almost over

On to news around the Big Ten: Mike over at BSD is reporting that Kirk Ferentz is being considered for the head coach vacancy/power vacuum that is Michigan. Don't know what to think of this one. Iowa has underperformed since 2003. Other rumors include Tom Bradley going to Pitt as a result of Wannstache being demoted to waterboy.

In PSU news: Bowl announcements coming soon. Personally, I think a nice game agains a despondant Kentucky or Texas would be about right. Definately would watch that. Or an ape fight. Again, with the Futurama references:

Figure not shown because I couldn't find the picture from "Futurestock" of the Apefight. You get the metaphor.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


While writing the former post, i remembered the dream I had last night. In it, Connor and Bradley were being interviewed about the MSU game. Bradley was yukking it up while Connor had the look on his face (see above picture). Finally, Connor had enough, and responded that the DEs did not have enough strength to "toss the tackles of MSU" (his words, more or less), and that we should have never played that rediculous soft zone. He alluded to the defensive performance in the first and second halves, and the major differences.

Bradley looked visibly stunned. I then went on to a dream where it was chic for everyone to wear Magnum P.I. type mustaches, which is ninjas-with-lasers cool.

Final Thoughts

The following is my summation of what is garnered from the 2007 trainwreck that ended in losing to MSU.

Many bloggers have already stated that this is a forgettable season. I for one, will never forget such wasted talent, such missed oppurtunities, and other tragic cliches to describe the Nitts season. I don't want to forget. Forgetting this season would not let me look back in awe of everything the 2005 team accomplished. Yes, I like to live in the past.

I put the onus squarely on the coaching for the shortcomings of this team, starting at the top:

  1. Joe: cleaning the stadium was a great idea. However, you did not let them complete the season's cleaning. Further, destroying the offensive scheme the night before the Michigan game shows that either 1)you have no balls or 2)you have no faith in the offensive coaches. Lastly, you've publically gotten soft on the kids.
  2. Jay and Galen: Shame on you for not standing up for your players. You did a shitjob in developing Morelli, and the fact that you use playstation games to train your players proves that point. Laslty, when an unheard of freshman RB is torching the MSU defense, you called four (4) pass plays in a game where Morelli, who is the antithesis of "clutch", is playing marginal. I guess I should thank you for giving the landgrant trophy back to MSU; that thing is a f^&king abomination.
  3. Tom Bradley. What the hell is wrong with you? Playing soft zone so your d gets destroyed? Do you even understand what that does to their psyche? After the Illinois and Indiana games, it was even obvious to my mother that rushing 4 just does not work against a properly coached offensive line. Last week was an absolute disgrace, giving up a 24-7 lead in the second half to a team that went tete-a-tete with Michigan.

Don't get me wrong, I am very tolerant about mistakes. It's when you consistantly make the same mistake, or fail to adapt to the obvious (see gameplans from the past 10 years vs. michigan), one can clearly be labled as either dimwitted or insane.

I can not think of one example of a team, or season, that was ruined by its coaching staffs. Think about 3 of the 4 losses: Michigan, OSU, and MSU. I know our kids can out play the Michigan folk, and OSU might be a stretch. But, we'll never know because we simply got outcoached in every one of those games.

The caveat to this theory is the Illinois game: our defense made the necessary adjustments to beat Juice, but Morelli turned into the absolute clusterf#$k. Yeah, that's 2 f-bombs in one blog post. Clearly, I am very disturbed right now about the state of this team.

I wrote in one of my first posts on this blog that I don't know if Joe should be allowed to coach any more. I now have my answer. It's not just him, it's the people he has under him as well. What needs to be done? Previous culture just revolted and stormed the castle. Not a bad idea, I could use a little violence right now. For now, the coaching staff needs the metaphorical enema.

For one, I am now jealous of Michigan. LLoyd Carr is leaving, and they now have a great oppurtunity for change. We are stuck in a hopeless marriage that will never end in divorce. Kind of like the Clinton's circa 1985, but that turned out just fine.

Friday, November 16, 2007

...And Spartans on Attack

Figure 1-2: A metaphor for minimalist warmongering

First and foremost, everything I have read about the Hub incident sickens me. I don't care what started it, do these players not know they are held to a higher standard? Could they be that stupid?

The short answer is yes. Reports stem from Chris Bell off the top rope, to a good old fashion stomping from the lineman. I'm through with these lesions. Suspend for first offense. Otherwise, get rid of 'em.

Baker needs to be banished from Happy valley forever. His thugginess belongs somewhere south of the border, but definitely not at PSU.

Timmons is done for the year. Additionally, he now has to change his first name. No player named "Knowledge" should be involved in two altercations in one year. That's just flat out hypocritical.

As for the rest(Phil Taylor, Abe Koroma, Thom McEowen, Chris Bell, Willie Harriott, Devon Fentress, Toriano Moody and Johnnie Troutman ), screw you guys for the rest of the season, the bowl game, and spring practice. Once finals are done, tell them to pack their shit and get out of town. Call them from the bowl game. Tell them it is mandatory to get involved in Jerome Hayes' anger management class. It worked wonders for him (see Notre Dame cheapshots). Tell each one of them they have to apologize to the graduating seniors for screwing up their team.

Think about this-would Joe have put up with this back in the 80s and 90s? NO, resoundingly. Back then, people were kicked off the team for having a beer at the airport.

Now what? We have a not-so-police friendly Michigan State coming into town this weekend. This is another team that should have beat Michigan, but alas, they cannot defend the long ball. Well, maybe that's not fair considering Michigan lost Tacopants to the Philadelphia Eagles.
My scouting of MSU comes from watching said game. The first half, they were awful. The second half, they decided to just keep the ball on the ground, with great results.
For PSU to win:
  • Pray that the underclassmen can step up.
  • Same offensive gameplan as Purdue
  • Michigan can run the ball effectively-Bolster the middle of the line with Connor. Keep Lee or Sales attached to MSU wunderkind TE Kellen Davis-he and Devon Thomas are a real threat to our blitz.
  • Maurice Evans has to wreak havoc again. I hate the fact that we have to rely on him due to incarceration, but there it is.
  • No more kicks returned for TDs.

I would be more optimistic if we had Bowman and Baker with us. But I can't be. This was supposed to be the season where Morelli becomes the leader of the offense, the D shuts everyone down, and free beer.

PSU 23, MSU 13. What can I say, I am indeed still a believer that somehow this team will find a way to win against an equally crappy MSU team.

Failed expectations

  • Chris Bell becomes a real threat
  • Best CBs in the B10
  • King a top 10 draft pick
  • Scirotto dealing out justice over the middle
  • Morelli becomes an above-average QB
  • B10 championship
  • 12-0. We never had a schedule so easy.
  • Austin Scott channels LJ
  • Quarless channels Kyle Brady
  • Wallace starts at CB by week three at Michigan
  • We beat Michigan

Maybe that one isn't fair to Wallace. Bradley had a way of playing the corners 10 yards off the LOS. It's really not Wallace's fault.

Good Stuff

What did we do right? What do we have to look forward to? Please keep in mind these are all overshadowed by the off-field behavior of certain players.

  • The O-line becoming a frighteningly cohesive unit. Everyone said that this was the weak spot on our team. Ask our RBs how they feel about that prediction.
  • Kinlaw and Royster. First names redacted because I keep messing them up. I talked with them last week, and they forgive me. And by "them" I meant that girl's boobs I was staring at in the bar last week. They always forgive me somehow....
  • Derrick Williams-it took him awhile, but he is quickly becoming that exciting freshman we all knew from 2 years ago.
  • The receiving corps. Kudos all around.
  • DC-40 breaking Poz's record.
  • Ending our loss streak to Iowa.

Still, the negatives are greatly outweighing the positives. I kind of just want this season to end, kick some players off the team, watch Connor get drafted, and fast forward to a great blue and white game.

And finally...

This week's Admiral Akbar award goes to the Oklahoma/Texas Tech matchup. Again, with the flimsy premace.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Recap of Last Weekend

The good:
  • The food.
  • I got drunk
  • PSU won
  • I got to see some friends

The Bad:

  • Philadelphia just keeps getting dirtier
  • PSU played very unremarkable football
  • Morelli fumbles again.
  • Event planners need to be castrated for their planning of the tailgating atmosphere. Here's why: 12 port-o-johns. 15,000 people. Nobody directing traffic. Level 3 riots at the one location that had'em. On top of that, they decided to bring a hook and ladder through the mob outside at around 10 am. Just stupifying. Organizers fully knew the size of the crowd that was coming due to the large amount of tickets sold. 69,000 tickets were bought.
  • God-awful weather. At least it kept the beer cold.

Again, Philly had the chance to show the out-of-towners what a great city it is. And it dropped the ball. In short, if Philadelphia can't learn to clean itself up, it deserves the reputation of being a nasty city. I'm pretty sure that all the trash causes an unhealthy situation for the inhabitants, hence why so many mutants are running around. And these aren't the good kind, like Jean Grey and her gravity-defying breasts. Nope. Kind of like pissed off moorlock-mutants. And they are breeding...

At least I have this week to look forward to claiming this trophy:

Figure 1-1: For the love of God, why?

Seriously, I would rather just have an out-of-conference rivalry, with say, 'Bama. Both fanbases respect each other, and they could play for the lion's tail, joepa's glasses, or Bryant's hat. All three are solid. Instead, we get to play for something that looks like a freshman's architectual design from the 70's.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

I Give a Hoot..

Figure 1-2: "Mr. Owl, does Temple playing at the Linc have anything to do
with the Eagles being cursed?"
Bloggers note: again, this is not the format i was going for. please bear with me.
That's owl-humor. Get it? Yeah, like you could come up with something better, so back off.
So now onto Temple, and then Michigan State, or as I like to call it, the Ashley Simpson part of the schedule. Not nearly as exciting as their more talented predecessors, but still good enough to masturbate to.
I will be heading up to Philly for the game. Apparently, the lots open 5 hours before kickoff, meaning that I will be openly intoxicated by 8 AM. What's on the menu? Brats, leftover beer from the Michigan road trip(American Ale gets better with time, right?), chips, and the coup de grace, 8 lbs. of roasted pork for sandwiches served with extra sharp cheese, and maybe some broccoli rabe. That's food that Britney Spears would sell her kid for.
What do I expect?
  • Temple is actually better this year, so it will not be a blowout until the second half.
  • Kinlaw gets the lion share (another mascot pun. am on a roll) of carries when the game is in hand.
  • Morelli doesn't see the 4th quarter.
  • We open up throwing deep

I am kind of interested to see who will be getting the reps in the 4th (knock on wood).


PSU 41, Temple 17

Monday, November 5, 2007

It's the DWill Show!

Figure 1-1: Best game since being a frosh. Kind of a good thing.

Note:this is the fourth time i have reworked the format of this post. And it still reverts to some f'd up form that was not intended. Hence the lack of spacing, odd text centering, etc.
Caught the game at the CarPool again down here in Arlington with some friends. Better service, better food, same PSU results. Good times.
To make matters better, I decided to give myself the day off (from drinking) to watch multiple games. Let's just say I took some perverse pleasure in eating an entire bag of Doritos, half-nekid, in my bed while watching ND collectively soil theirs.
Of course, my slovenly bliss was cut short by my brother, who texted me that Michigan and FSU were now going to lose. Jerk. At least Rutgers and Nebraska were soundly thrashed.

Just to recap:
They rushed 6 almost every passing down, with good results. Yes, we did get burned a few times, but there was definite pressure on Painter to make the hurried throw. In short, we looked much better against a lesser offense.

Game balls go to Lee, Evans, Taylor, and yes, JUSTIN FREAKIN' KING.
Lee single handedly changed the face of the game on the goal line. Instead of stripping out the RBs soul, he decided to settle for the ball. Some say offensively we did nothing after the turnover, but getting from your own 1 yard line to midfield definitely improved our field position during the game. So we had that going for us, which is nice.
Even though the play on the line improved, Taylor and Evans stood out for the pressure applied.
Justin King. Wasn't exactly in "shutdown", but at least he looked angry enough to respond to those critical of him. Myself included. He knocked away a sure touchdown, tackled well, and played his best game of the season.
Derrick Williams gets the first game ball and highest praise. When the game was still up in the air, King caught everything thrown his way. He didn't waste time trying to make a move; rather, he just turned upfield and ran. And run he did, scoring off of a beautiful end-around. Shout out here for Lawlor, who sealed the deal with an excellent seal block. When he turned upfield on that play, I had visions of him blowing past Hawk....Keep it up, DWill.
Game balls to Evan Royster and the offensive line. The line performed admirably, giving Morelli all day to throw, and Royster highway-sized running lanes. I always say the tone of the game is set at the lines-in this case, the OL provided the means for lengthy drives, and ground up the Purdue DL. The culmination of which was Royster busting a 26 yard jailbreak to the endzone. Look again at Purdue's D after that play. They were done.
Morelli-didn't go for the extra mile on the run, didn't fumble, and provided enough accuracy on the pass in coverage that it couldn't be intercepted. The only really bad toss i my mind was when he missed butler streaking down the sideline toward the endzone. This exact route worked perfectly on Wisconsin, and ended in 6. Regardless, he made the right plays.
A smack in the head to Quarless. Way to kill a great drive on the goal line. Just unacceptable. And to make things worse, he jumped the gun again, but this time the results weren't as dire.
Jay and Galen-once again, great playcalling. Joe finally trusts these two-enough where we can go for it on 4th and 2 when we are only winning by 3 in the second half. And they called a qb sneak-again, thank you Lawlor for improving the position. You know what i mean.
Special teams
Someone take Kelly out. Seriously, kneecap him. To start, he isn't kicking the ball deep enough. Yes, I realize it is colder, but still, every time he kicks it short and in the middle of the field, we get burnt.
We put together a great drive at the end of the half, and he misses the chip shot. Luckily, Purdue was boneheaded enough to make contact with him.
Overall Thoughts
  • It really disconcerts me that many bloggers picked PSU to lose, and then overly criticize them when they performed beyond expectations. Man up, and give the kids some credit.
  • Someone needs to prohibit a mummer's horn in a bar during an early game. They don't go well with hangovers. My impression of the jackass who was toot-happy: What a great play, I think I'll blow this foghorn. Wait, nobody is responding positively. You know what, THAT JUST MEANS I'LL HAVE TO BLOW LOUDER!
  • Thanks go out to the underclassmen who sent the seniors out with a victory.
  • Dan Connor surpassed Poz's record, bully for him. I still think Poz would win in a fight.
  • O, and I gave myself some love, European style, for the prediction of what we need to do for this game. I am so smart. S-M-R-T. If I can state what needs to be adjusted to win and the other team doesn't read my blog, it's there own damn fault they lost. There, I said it.
  • Dorito crumbs are surprisingly edible the next morning. Even when picked out of one's chest hair. O, DON'T ACT DISGUSTED. I AM WHO I AM. I CAN HEAR YOU JUDGING ME.
  • The reffing. The effing.

Lastly, I got a good look at Purdue Pete. Let's just say this flashed across my mind:



Sunday, November 4, 2007


This site just lost today's post. Twice. Am too furious to write, because that was blog GOLD. I'm so angry i have to eat something. That had parents.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Purdue its gold and black....

Figure 1-2: Great Iron Horse Come to Valley
This Saturday Purdue rolls into town; it's Senior Day in Beaver Stadium. My, where does the time go. Just seemed like yesterday Connor was cranking ex-coaches.

I can't speak for the team, but I just feel deflated. Our normally formadable D was shredded last week. Whether by injury or not, the PSU D has been the one constant in my universe for awhile. Even during the bad years, It always showed up in one form or another.

So now we come to the pass-happy Boilermakers. Repeat: pass-happy. The same style of offense that killed us in the past two weeks. What can we possibly do to stop them? What possible hope do we have?

For one, Coaching needs to get their collective heads unf_cked. Against OSU, bringing blitzers kind of worked in that it forced Boeckman to make quicker decisions, with some good results on our side. When we rushed four, we got destroyed. Seriously, we should have just put in 3 extra DBs and rushed one lineman.

Secondly, keep running the ball. We were having noticeable success in the running game, and our coaches decided to put the game in Morelli's hands. Bad move. This strategy also doubles to keep the already struggling defense off of the field.

Third, play like you want to win. Words cannot describe what went through my head when we punted on their 38, especially when the running game was working. Let's just say it took me three cigarettes and a bar full of slutty Halloween costumes to get ready for the second half. 10-17, or heaven forbid, 14-17, does wonders for a teams' ego going into halftime, especially when you start the second half with the ball. Prolonged drives and intestinal fortitude will win out against Purdue.

Fourth, tell DWill to stop moving like Austin Scott. Pick a path and take it. Stop dancing. Don't go down in token contact.

Fifth: Quarless, Golden, Norwood, repeat.

Sixth: No more screen passes. Morelli had overshot the RB in screen passes 4 games in a row. By a lot. It just so happenned that OSU was well aware of this fact.

I am not sold on putting Clark and/or Devlin in yet. Clark is still far too inaccurate, and Devlin just isn't ready.

What do I think will happen? I am fully confident that our offense will employ the run early and often. However, this game will be won based on the ability to force Painter's hand. Rush 6 from every conceivable angle.

Final score: PSU 27 PUR 23

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

A Complete Disgrace

A rumor floating around from the '05 game was that people were throwing bags of urine at the OSU band. Great, that's just the image I want people to have of my school. Fortunately, nobody to this date has come forth with a shred of credible evidence to back this story up.

Then this season started. Rumors persisting about a minority of students/alum treating the visitors incomprehensibly. I always thought/hoped the real story to be far less worse than the truth.

Then last weekend happenned. Then this video surfaced.

Fucking great. Now, every stupid rumor about my beloved campus will instantly be believed as true. Think about this video being circulated nationally, and then add the fact that on live TV one of the GameDay crewmembers had a beer thrown at them.

Now compile that with the urine toss, and everything else (bad) you've heard about PSU tailgating.

So now what will happen?

We probably just lost the GameDay crew. Given the reports coming out of State College right now, we probably just lost any night game for any good team in our future schedule. Way to go students.

First, I hope they find that jackass who pushed, and then later threw a beer at, that OSU fan. Of course, the original video was taken down, but thanks to someone's quick thinking, it has now made its way around. Scrawny punk is probably shaving his hair off as we speak. Fuck him. If he is a student:

  1. Charge him with assualt
  2. Let him clean the stadium
  3. 10 year ban from attending a PSU football game at home.

Secondly, the guy with the camera knew him. Let's find out who the cameraman was. Put the screws to him, see who else can get ratted out. See above punishments.

Third, I hope every alumni will see this.

Fourth, I hope Spanier sees this, and takes some kind of action.

May no act of ours bring shame,
To one heart that loves thy name

Monday, October 29, 2007

Foggy Memories

Figure 1-1: The second biggest letdown of the year.

Caught the game at Front Page whilst touring the Nightmare on M street. So many pretty girls dressed...well......If'n I ever do have kids, they can't be girls. Big ups to the staff at FrontPage for putting the PSU game on the flatscreen right in front of us.

All signs were positive coming into this game-our D would figure out what is wrong, the students were into it, beautiful weather, and 2 dollar Miller Lights. Hell, even the wings I ordered were good, which is somewhat of a rarity down here in DC.

Then the game started. Kind of. Hard to tell with all the commercials. The PSU D hit the field first, and promptly got lit up. OSU got 3 out of it because we were rushing LBs from the outside, forcing Boeckman to make his reads faster.
Then the PSU offense took the field and came out flying. Unbridled enthusiasm at the bar.

So with PSU up 7-3, what did the defense do on the next drive? Rush 4. That's right. They were getting blown up by OSUs line, so we decided to put no pressure on Boeckman. From that point on, things get kind of foggy. 2 dollar Lites combined with that steaming pile will force what's left of your brain into blackout mode.

But this is what someone told me: OSU picked us apart the rest of the game-all sides of the ball were screwed.

What does this tell you? We definately got outcoached. Tressel et al. did their homework, and put together THE perfect gameplan. They threw where we weren't, and blocked where we were.

Does OSU have better talent? I really don't know. I can't tell what this PSU team has at this point. After the Iowa and Wisconsin games, it was thought that we definately have the pieces. I am not so sure after this mudhole stomping.

If we lost a close game, I could prob handle it better than this. At least then we had a chance of winning this game.

I am still too disturbed to properly write about this game. All I can do is sputter out terse statements. More tomorrow. For now, I just feel entirely let down.

Friday, October 26, 2007

weather update

Figure 1-4: The ultimate military leader. Egotistical, caring, and batshit crazy.
What ho? The weather seems to be clearing. Enter the awesome George Patton quotes:

Chaplain: You wanted to see me, General?
Patton: Oh, yes, Chaplain. I'm sick and tired of Third Army having to fight the Germans, the Supreme Command, no gasoline, and now this ungodly weather. I want a prayer... a weather prayer.
Chaplain: A weather prayer, sir?
Patton: Yes, let's see if you can't get God working with us on this thing.
Chaplain: It'll take a pretty thick rug for that kind of praying.
Patton: I don't care if it takes a flying carpet.
Chaplain: I don't know how this is going to be received, General. Praying for good weather so we can kill our fellow man?
Patton: I assure you, sir, because of my intimate relations with the Almighty, if you write a good prayer, we'll have good weather. I expect that prayer within an hour.

Almighty and most merciful Father, we humbly beseech Thee of Thy great goodness to restrain this immoderate weather with which we have had to contend. Grant us fair weather for battle. Graciously hearken to us as soldiers who call upon Thee, that armed with Thy power, we may advance from victory to victory and crush the wickedness and oppression of our enemies and establish Thy justice among men and nations. Amen.

The weather's perfect. Cod, get me that chaplain. He stands in good with the Lord, and I want to decorate him.
--General Patton, the day after the Weather Prayer worked

Ohio State has its Buckeyes.....

JaOSU is in town this week, if you haven't heard. So is gameday. So is bad weather, paternoville, a whiteout, a night game, and oodles of drunken PSU faithful. Sounds familiar.
The biggest difference is the state of the teams playing. Back in '05, PSU was the (huge) underdog, and nobody outside of Happy Valley knew any better. Just ask Corso and Herbstreit. So what happened? Poz ran amok, the defense played lights out for the final half, and the offense capitalized on turnovers. That game still gives me shivers. To this day, I will promise you that even though I watched the game with friends at the Lion's Den, I felt the thumping in the stadium. Bible truth. Anyone who was in Penn State, and not at the game, will tell you the exact same thing. A team that had once held prominence in the national eye was now back, and everyone felt it.
Not this year. Even though JaOSU comes to town in similar peripheral conditions, the team is not the same. Their offense is relatively untested (the '05 team already played Texas), and Laurinitis is no Hawk. Hawk was a straight-up brute, and handled every aspect of the game. Laurinitis can cover well (great hands), but is still not quite there in the run defense. He will be there senior year (hopefully not next year), but not as a sophomore.
As Michigan State showed last week, Boeckman can be rattled. Compound that with playing for the first time on the road against a very competent defense, and things could get interesting. Add on 110k+ inebriated, screaming fans and sloppy conditions, and things will get tricky. Bradley has to let fly at the start of the game-do not let Boeckman get comfortable. Boeckman is the #1 rated passer in the B10; keeping him out of a rhythm is paramount.
Wells, on the other hand, rang up 221 on the MSU defense last week. This indicates that he is finally injury-free, or that the MSU defense gave up. This is the same defense that held Indiana in check. Sort of. Wells absolutely frightens me right now, especially that the running game will be such an important issue given the conditions. He has good ball control, and I anticipate many dumpoff, screen, and swing passes his way Saturday night. Giving myself ulcers thinking about this. The good? Iowa and Wisconsin ran similar plays. I would feel much more confident if we had Odrick.
What I pray for on defense
  • Attack early and often. Against Iowa And Wisconsin, we brought pressure multiple times from the LBs rushing outside the DEs. It worked wonders.
  • Create turnovers
  • Justin King will reestablish himself. Word on the street is that he is still trying to shake off the shoulder injury he incurred from the ND game.
  • Sciorotto pulls a Lowry and intercepts Boeckman in OSU territory. PSU fake pitch D-Will off-tackle right, Morelli to Golden for a TD.
  • Maurice Evans snorts tiger blood; De-spleens Boeckman.

What I pray for on offense

  • Morelli keeps up his play. Just solid quarterbacking.
  • With the loss of Hahn, I just don't see us going for over 120 on the ground. If we do, we win.
  • Keep it to two turnovers or less, none inside our 30.
  • Keep Lawlor in the backfield for blocking. We are depleted on the line with Lucian and Shaw being questionable for the game.
  • No short passes over the middle.
  • MRob to be on the sidelines (SF is in their bye week).

Special teams

This is the Achilles heel for the Buckeyes. They know it, we know it. We need a big play on special teams. This can be in the form of Kelly not missing a kick, or Wallace/King giving us great field position. It can even be just not letting up a big return. I just know we need something out of them this week akin to last week, sans the lengthy Indiana punt return.

I have no clue how these teams are going to react to each other. It is nice that PSU has adopted a less-conservative approach in the last 3 games, but the fact that Illinois and Indiana both put up points on us still unnerves me. Will PSU continue to pass on first down? Will we try to pressure Boeckman? Will our O-line be able to hold back the formidable OSU front 7?

My random, clueless predicitons

OSU has 4 false start penalties. Anthony Morelli goes 24-40, 210 yds, 2 TDs, 1 INT. Kinlaw/Royster go for 145 yards on the ground. Penn State wins the battle of the LBs again.

PSU 24 OSU 16

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

PSU vs. OSU nonsense

Tale of the tape- A quick breakdown of the school and their relative strengths in a heah-to-head. PSU answers are first because they won the coin-toss.

  • The Pennsylvania State University
  • The Ohio State University


If brevity is your thing
  • Penn State
  • Ohio State
If it isn't
  • Penn State
advantage: PSU
  • Brutus Buckeye
  • The Nittany lion

advantage: PSU

What the hell is....?

  • A Nittany Lion
  • A Buckeye?
Stadium capacity
  • 107,282 (110,753 record)
  • 101,569
advantage: PSU
Can count on them to beat....
  • Anyone but Michigan
  • Anyone including Michigan

big advantage: OSU

Coaching Fashion Statement
  • Rolled up pants and black shoes. Coke-bottle glasses. Old-school Moxie.
  • Sweater Vests
advantage: PSU. Sweater vests are never a fashion statement
Tailgating environment
  • In the cow pastures as far as one can stagger.
  • Local Hotel
advantage: PSU

Tailgating Hazard
  • Bags of urine, Eagles and Steelers fans, lack of port-o-johns.
  • OSU fans, Columbus
advantage: OSU. Are you kidding me?

Annoying accent
  • Yins. Yuhns. Stillers. Iggles.
  • Midwestern Drawl
advantage: OSU. nothing in the first answer is even a word.
Good looking (female) cheerleaders
  • Not historically
  • Yup

advantage: OSU by a nose

Football player grad rate
  • Extremely high
  • Extremely low
advantage: PSU
Football player draft value
  • Extremely low
  • Extremely High
advantage: OSU
Recent linebackers of note
  • Poz, Connor, Shaw, Lee
  • Laurinitis, Hawk
advantage: PSU. Hawk DQ'd for marrying Brady Quinn's sister
Looks like PSU 7-5! Huzzah!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

More on Evans

Evans received the B10 playa' of the week. His stats? A paltry 4.5 TFL, 3.5 Sacks, and two forced fumbles. I believe the picture below says everything...

Figure 1-2: If Evans grabbed you like this, you would fumble too. OR-Evans is groin-grabbingly good.
This only helps the D-line. Evans will be heavily guarded on Saturday, whilst the rest of the line/rushing LBs will be in to wreak havok.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Indiana Wrappup

Figure 1-1: They aren't exactly who I thought they were

Before I sharpshoot this game in my "analysis", I first and foremost would like to say I was dead wrong about this Indiana team. Why? As I stated last week, I mailed it in. I didn't do my homework, so imagine the surprise when Indiana marched down the field and scored on their first drive. Other positives for Indiana include the 6-7" manchild, Jay Hardy, dismantling Justin King. Offensively, this team only lacks a good running back. The Hoosiers WILL be getting a bowl game, so bully to them.

The Good
  • Anthony Morelli, the offensive line the running game. Jay and Galen have these guys firing on all cylinders, and the play calling still is refreshing. The only caveat here is the 3 FGs in the second half, all from the goal line. Do NOT make FGs a habit within the ten yard line. Look what happenned to the Eagles yesterday.
  • We won a close game on the road. We have accomplished neither of those two this season.
  • Maurice Evans. This guy is an absolute terror. And is a sophmore.
The Bad
  • The rest of the d-line. No pressure from anywhere but Evans.
  • Our defensive strategy. They passed 48 times. I would say 24 of them, we played the run. As a result, Indiana aired it out and torched us.
  • Justin King. He got straight beaten. I understand that he was covering a 6-7" force of nature, and the QB had the brains to throw the jump ball (a la the Randy Moss method), but he is relying on just his presence near the receiver to discourage the pass attempt in his direction.
The Ugly
  • We finally got the full-blown injury bug. Losing Hahn could be a devastating blow for the running game. Additionally, he is a senior, and he shredded his ACL. That is not the way for a guy who plays so hard to end his career. It just isn't fair.
  • Losing Odrick with a broken ankle for the season. 6'5" DTs with ability are rare. Luckily, we have very competant reserves in Abe Koroma, McKeown, etc. Additionally, he will be back next season.
  • The reffing. Or as all call it, "The Effing".
We got the win. The offense was good. The D was not. We lost 2 good starters. Indiana is a good team. There is now parity in the B10.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Final Notes

Brian from MGoBlog points out how the line for the Michigan/Illinois matchup has mysteriously moved over the past 48 hours.

In short, the opening line was Michigan -3. Yesterday, at about 5 pm EDT, the line tanked to even. What does Vegas know? Is Holtz giving Michigan an "inthpirational speeth"? Is Hart more injured that we are led to believe? That, and awesome pics of me crushing a bowling ball with my abs coming up tomorrow. Stay tuned!!

Who shall I use as a flimsy premace to award the Admiral Ackbar trap seal? How about...say....MSU VS. OSU?!!

Figure 1-4: Look out OSU, it's a trap!!
As you can tell, the coffee finally wore off and I am finished work for the week.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

RIP Sands

Just want to take a quick moment to state that the Sands casino in NJ will be no more as of tonight. My best memory? Winning enough money for Bare Exposures, and then coming back to meet a guy with a suit on that would make Michael Irvin blush.

God bless you, Sands. On the day Joey Bishop, the last of the Rat Packers passes away, the Sands, which was notorious for Rat Pack showings, is demolished. The last shred of Old School AC has been vanquished.

AC: always in decline but never hitting bottom. The Sands, where only the dedicated knew where the poker room was. The Sands, you will be missed.

Indiana has its Hoosiers

Figure 1-3: Better than sucky this year

I actually got to watch some of the IND/MSU matchup on saturday after our glory. It looked like the MSU offense was running Madden drills on them.

Short preview this week, because there really is nothing really to preview. In other words, I am lazy . PSU is favored, and holds the advantage in almost every facet of the game. The only question marks for this PSU team is:

1. Can we win on the road against a team with a winning record? Or more generally, can we win on the road?

2. Indiana is #1 in the NCAA in sacks pergame (thanks Turkey !). Can our offensive line hold them?

3. Can we handle a lesser option offense?

Illinois taught the Lions how to defend the option-they have seen this type of offense before and adjusted perfectly. This answers question #3.

Our offensive line is extremely cohesive right now. In the last three games, they have opened up massive running holes for our backs. Word out of practice this week is that Quarless is working his ass off to get back into the lineup after being benched for half-assing blocks last Saturday, so all signs are pointing toward the positive.

Can PSU win on the road? Depends. If we use the game plan from Michigan, this game will be a tossup, at most an ugly win. If we use the game plan from the last few weeks, the score will only be close at the opening whistle.

So two out of three questions are answered in the positive, one is a maybe, leaning toward the positive.

PSU 45 Ind 7. The seven comes in garbage time. This team is hungry, pissed, and clicking.

Final thoughts
  • I still feel horrible for Hayes. This kid has to work hard for the next 9-11 months to get himself back to a usuable condition, and even then he still might have lost a step.

  • Will Morelli pass on first? Will we run? I don't know, and neither do the Indiana coaches. This puts us at an extreme advantage in that our strategy is now totally hidden, which means our strategy can succeed.

  • PSU never "looks ahead" to the following game. This team always focusses on the task at hand.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Monday Review

Figure 1-2: Like a squirrel with an acorn, Koroma plants receivers in the ground during the fall to stock up for those lean times ahead.

Those who played really did nothing wrong. Yes, there were dropped passes, a sack, and one penalty, but that is to be expected every game. From whistle to gun, this team played complete football. Maybe it's the off-field struggles, or the fact that they know they should maybe have one loss right now, but this team is definately playing in "us against the world" mode.

Biggest improvement

Morelli and the offensive lines. One sack, no interceptions, and no bad passes. Morelli did everything that was expected of him.
Lydell Sergent. The guy was everywhere on Saturday, leading to very few Wallace sightings. And I know the name is spelled wrong; I like my way better.

Biggest Loss

Jerome Hayes. Still don't know why his knee gave out, but it didn't look good. So sad for a guy who has played with the highest intensity this season. Lets pray for a sprain or slight tear, and nothing that would completely alter his playing style.

Other injuries

Odrick broke a bone(s?) in his hand, but he will be back in the lineup. Word on the street is that he ripped the defective part(s) out of his body, and replaced it with a tooth he stole from Lyle Alzado. Bible truth.
And that's all. Let's put this game behind us; we've got a competant Indiana team ahead of us on the road, and then.....inhales...THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY.... That's right, the #1, untested team in the country comes into Happy Valley on a Saturday night. Here's to the Whiteout!

Figure 1-3: Remember this?

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Game Recap

Figure 1-1: Rodney Kinlaw, coming through!

It's 7 am on Sunday morning, and I actually feel fine. The victory was so sweet it almost feels like i got laid last night. Almost.

To start, I watched the game down in Arlington at CarPool. Always a pleasant environment. Even though the game was televised, a decent PSU crowd emerged from their holes to bare witness to the event. Especially the table full of really cute broads sitting next to us. Very friendly.

Note to the Carpool staff-start switching the game on 5 minutes before kickoff. The game started, and was only on one TV across the bar. Lusty mobs descended to the bar full of powerfull drink, demanding their beloved football. Almost a level-4 riot ensuing.

Addendum to above note-about an hour before the game began, a friend of mine asked if they could allocate one television for her to watch the Kentucky/LSU glory. She was denied with the explanation that all TVs will be displaying sweet PSU bliss. To me, that was some weapons-grade balonium. She left, the games began, and they still showed other games on the smaller TVs.

Carpool, you almost officially buggered this even for me. Even the girl with the comically-exposed thong at the bar couldn't undo the damage...

On to the game. Thanks to the lovely homemade TiVo my roomate created, I am able to watch this game again on this lovely October morn.

First Half

  • PJ Hill fumbles on the first run of the game. Kind of foreshadowing. Unfortunately, the above listed technology started recording late, so we are starting with the fullback draw on the goal line. That's twice now I've missed the fumble due to human folley.
  • TD!!! Matt Hahn dives over the middle, and takes a shot in the process. Ya know, a few years ago I would have expected this play call on 1rst and goal, every time. Good to see we have been mixing it up, so when we used it again, it caught me by surprise. Sun Tzu says, "If your enemy knows you as orthodox, be unorthodox. If you are known as unorthodox, be orthodox." Due to expanded playcalling in the last few games, the orthodox worked. PSU, 7-0, 13:39 left.
  • PJ Hill runs well up the gut. Usually drags 3 or 4 defenders. The only prob is, he can't run outside the tackles due to injury. Hopefully we realize this and adjust, which I am pretty sure will happen. Yup.
  • 12:15, espn displays Wisconsin keys to the game. "Get the lead". OOPS.
  • 11:00, 1rst quarter. Lineman and LBs stand Hill up. Great tackling by Ogbu and Lee. Adjustment made. Wiscy punt, DWill making one too many moves, short return.
  • Shots of homecoming parade. Franco looks good. God, I miss college.
  • Morelli is going to Golden early and often. Hits him perfectly in stride. Morelli to Butler. Another perfect pass. Morelli to golden- Set up by Morelli staring down DWill, drawing 2 defenders, and hitting Golden in single coverage.
  • 7:01, 1rst, 3rd and long on the wiscy 11. Busted screen, Morelli recognizes, and throws the ball away. Great job, Morelli. Kelly FG good, PSU 10, Wisc 0.
  • Wiscy offense comes in, and throws a scary longball. Good coverage in that the ball had to be perfectly throws for that to be caught.
  • 6:00, 1rst quarter, third and short. Wiscy on their own 30, Donovan finds his man 4 yards downfield, 1rst down Wiscy. Just want to point out that we are continually bringing LBs from both sides of the line. Donovan is about 1/2 second ahead of us at this point. At this point. Bradley will make the adjustments.
  • 5:45, 1rst quarter. Wiscy has some ugly cheerleaders.
  • 5:26-Donovan throws to a wide-open tacopants.
  • 5:16-32 yard pass play to Jefferson. Connor missed jumping the route, and left King to make the tackle. Well thown ball. Then Wiscy false starts on the next play. Thanks, student section!
  • 4:30-PJ Hill takes the pile downfield for a nice run to the PSU 17. King gets tossed aside in the process. I know he is a CB, but he should know how to tackle.
  • 3:10-PSU brings the outside heat with the LBs again, with the same result as above. Donovan is standing tall in the pocket, and throws a strike to Beckum down to the PSU 2. Ugh, I do not want to see these two get in any kind of rhythm. Interesting; the replay shows King got a bit of a pick over the middle, leaving Beckum wide open. Eh, could be construed as incidental. NAAAAAA. CHEATERS! Sergent makes textbook tackle.
  • 2:42, Hill runs up the middle for the TD. PSU, 10-7. We have to face this guy for how many more years?
  • 2:35, Morelli to Golden. God, that looks so natural. 1rst down, PSU on their own 36. Kinlaw just got baptized on a 6 yard pickup off right tackle, but holds onto the ball.
  • Quarless drops one over the middle. Well thrown ball, first mistake by a receiver. Quarless, WTF? That was a first down and a momentum sustainer.
  • :15, Donovan makes a great cut, Connor overpursues. Actually, this is kind of what he is supposed to be doing to force the runner back inside. However, this is a QB, and Connor missed the tackle. End of 1rst quarter.
  • 15:00 2nd, badgers on their 28. Connor and Lee are officially getting pissed. Somebody splashed them with blood. McGuire, states, "That man has no neck". Solemnly nodding in approval.
  • The line gets their first real pressure on Donovan. Donovan scrambles and throws the ball away. 14:14, 2nd.
  • 14:10-Lydell Sergent shows uber concentration, and catches a tipped ball. Interception! If memory serves, beer just went flying out of my nose. Newcastle Ale, if you were interested.

  • 13:12. Royster is in, and looks strong.
  • 13:00. I can't believe what i just saw. PSU on the badger 28, Morelli drops back, PUMP FAKES LEFT, AND HITS A WIDE OPEN BUTLER FOR THE TD!!!!! No...Words....Should....Have.....Sent....A......Poet. PSU, 17-7!
  • Side note: the PSU offensive line is providing great coverage for Morelli et al. today. Butler also made a great inside-out cut to beat the defender on the route.
  • 14 points off turnovers.
  • (comment redacted)
  • 11:22, and I just noticed that PSU gives the shade of the stadium to the visitors. Not many teams do that. Good sportsmanship, I guess. Wiat, not so much in cold weather.
  • 11:06, the badger drive loses steam with a holding penalty.
  • 10:41-Sergent makes a beautiful play by breaking up the longball.
  • 10:33-Wisconsin runs a perfect screen, and Connor saves the defense by shedding a block. The announcers recognize this, so promotions all around.
  • 9:47-Dwill gets leveled on the PR, and can't handle the ball. At first glance, Jones smacked Williams before the ball got there, which is a no-no. Upon review, that was one helluva lot closer than I thought. We might have just gotten our first call of the game. I still believe karmacally we are owed much more, but I'll take it. PSU takes over with good field position (PSU 37)
  • 9:07-Morelli flushed, and throws the ball away. Well done. 7/10, 120 yards, 1 TD.
  • 9:00-Mickey Shuler makes a great grab over the middle and wrestles the ball away from the defender. 1rst down!
  • 8:30-Morelli hits an open Butler for 23 yards. Badger D is close to collapsing.
  • 7:11-4th and 1 on the Badger 18. Crowd is pleading for them to go for it. Na, take the points......And PSU is going for it. George Takei says, "O my".
  • Royster kicks it into gear and blows past every defender for the TD!!! PSU 24-7
  • Notes on the TD run: Hahn and Lucian both make excellent blocks and seal the running lane for Royster. Beauty, eh?
  • I miss listening to Steve Jones and Jack Hamm on the radio.
  • 6:26-Donovan makes a great pass to Jefferson for 30+ yards. I hate soft zone at the end of the half.
  • 5:58-Donovan forces a pass deep over the middle. That is a huge mistake, as Sciorotto makes a great play on the ball, coming down with an interception.
  • 5:52-OL opens a huge hole for Kinlaw who busts a 16 yarder.
  • 5:26-Play action, Morelli rolls out and hits a wide open Schuler for 10 yards. Note the generous spot.
  • 5:17-Morelli goes through his progression perfectly and strikes Butler over the middle.
  • 4:43-Kinlaw goes off left tackle for 13 yards. He should be buying his OL many steaks tonight.
  • Morelli on first down, 9/10. Excellent in-game stat.
  • The drive stall on the badger 25. 42 yard FG by Kelly is no good. It has been said that there is wind in the stadium, but the flags on the uprights are barely moving. Some things never change, i guess. PSU still leading 24-7; 4 minutes left.
  • 3:00-Wiscy is still trying to run up the middle. Lee says no.
  • 2:16-Evans destroys Donovan in the backfield-Donovan still gets off the high wobbler. Getting closer......
  • 1:52-King and Davis both jump the out rout, and one of them should have gone for 6. Instead, they both collide and break up the pass. Call that one a push.
  • 1:46-Lee charges into the backfield. TFL.
  • 1:41-Dan Connor sacks Donovan. Was only a matter of time. And there still is another half to make Donovan hurt.
  • 1:37-The commentaters let the PSU faithfull be heard. We might not have invented the "WE ARE" chant, but we do it like none other.
  • 1:25-Williams comes flying up the middle on the punt return only to fumble it. That would have officially killed Wisconsin. Now they have a shot at putting points up before half time.
  • 1:18-Holding penalty, declined due to an Evans sack. Sweet JoePa's prostate, I love this defense.
  • :55-Hill takes the pass down to the PSU 34. Lee makes a nice tackle. That gives him 10 for the half. Penn State oozes LB talent. Wisconsin punts? They have less faith in their kicker than we do. Kind of reassuring. End of the most complete half of PSU football I have seen in 2 years.

Second Half

  • 14:54-Kick return by Wallace to the 25. Decent return.
  • 14:47-Kinlaw showing effort in bouncing to the outside for a 5 yard gain. Takes the ball on the next play for 4 yards. Morelli picks up the remainder on a QB sneak.
  • 13:35-We have to stop doing the DWill end around. Everyone knows we do this at least once a game.
  • 13:26-Morelli to Golden for 19 yards. Looking sweet. Overshoots Norwood deep on the next play. Otherwise known as the Sex Cannon.....
  • 13:11-21 yard run by Kinlaw on a perfect inside draw.
  • In-game note. Morelli is running the play fake extremely well today.
  • 12:39-Kinlaw runs left for 10 yards. The badger LBs must be getting tired of chasing him.
  • 11:34-Throwing to Brackett in the endzone? What a novel idea. Brackett saves the play, but is moot due to cheating on the DB. Still, we are introducing Brackett into the red zone offense, which is nice.
  • 11:31-1rst and goal on the Badger 2. TD Kinlaw!!!!Shame he isn't 2-3 inches taller-he is looking like draft-material right now. PSU 31-7. Again, Hahn gets credit for making a textbook block.
  • 10:07-Odrick and Evans force a 3 and out when they sack Donovan. Odrick used his OL as a turnstile.
  • 9:18-Williams is still dancing too much on the punt return. PSU incurs its first penalty of the day. Penalty is on Josh Ganter. Just thought you'd want to know.
  • 9:11-Royster cuts back for a 17 yard gain on first down. And finishes the run nicely by hitting the closing LB.
  • Royster is 6-1? Hoo-boy.
  • 7:07-Donovan scrambles away again, eluding 3 would-be sackers.
  • 6:35, 1rst and 10 for the badgers on their own 33. Sargent makes a great pass breakup on Beckum. Sargent makes the tackle on the next play.
  • 6:00, Hill has been taken out of the game. Redemption for our D and their struggles last year against him.
  • 4:47-Donovan is literally scrambling for his life now. PSU forces the punt, and take over at their own 9. Time to grind the clock.
  • The commentators state that Williams and Quarless haven't touched the ball today. Maybe its because they are being closely guarded/doubled up, leading to the other receivers being open. Just sayin'.
  • Everyone Jump on Kinlaw's back, he will carry us for the rest of the game. Corso pointed this out in the preseason.
  • 2:41-DWill takes a nice swing pass for 8 yards to the 28.
  • 1:14-Wisconsin almost fumbles the ball away on the punt return. Jerome Hayes is down, holding his knee. This is not what I wanted to see. Am saying a silent prayer for him. O God, his knee looked like it just disintigrated on him when he was slowing down.
  • :44-Hill is inserted back into the game and has a good 15 yard run up the middle. I am kind of offended Connor missed the tackle. Didn't miss the tackle on the next play. End of the 3rd quarter. PSU 31-7
  • 15:00, 4rth quarger. On the PSU 33, the Badger line picks up the PSU blitz. Donovan hits a wide open Jefferson for 21 yards.
  • 14:46. Maurice Evans almost just introduced Donovan to the Lord. Great sack, second of the day for Evans, loss of seven yards for the Badgers. Evans is starting to remind me of Anthony Spencer. Same build, same speed. Maybe the Eagles won't pass up on him with the 26th pick, and then hand him over to Dallas. Just sayin'.
  • 13:20-Evans sniffs out the end around and drops the reciever for an 8 yard loss. Zombie Nation erupts. Good to see that the students are still involved.
  • 12:44-Missed 37 yard-ish FG. Maybe that's why they punted away in the 1rst half.
  • Grind-Grind-Grind-Grind-Grind
  • 10:38-Norwood gets involved, nabbing an 11 yard pass and comes down at the Wisconsin 48. Wouldn't have been difficult if he was taller. They should be putting in Clarke soon.
  • 9:16-Morelli gets sacked for the first time.
  • 8:06-Lee sacks Donovan with about 6 other PSU defenders in tow.
  • 6:57-Defense comes up big and stops Wisconsin on 4th and 1. Darryl Clark comes in.
  • McGuire just made his 100th streotypical Italian-Morelli quip. Not a single one was funny or entertaining.
  • Royster is now in for mopup duty.
  • 5:15-Clark runs a 17 yard QB draw to the 1 yard line. Preview of the offense next year.
  • The recording just ended, so to summarize the last five minutes, Darryl Clark scores. PSU 38-7.

Highlights, lowlights, game balls, and final thoughts tomorrow.