I was really down...

...this morning. I was hungover, the Flyers pulled one of the greatest choke-jobs in history, and RUTS and BSD were both reporting that Sean Lee had seriously injured his knee. Verily, my mood matched this awful weather.

Then I got the great news over at GCobb. No more Gumble f'ing up my good time on the NFL network. Raise your screams to heaven, chilluns, because this is proof that there are football Gods. Bryant Gumble, hands down, was THE WORST football broadcaster ever. EVER. At first sitting, listening to him was laughable, if not a little annoying. Kind of like a dog humping your leg.

Then he starts making errors that nobody involved in football should ever make. For example, he called the QB of the Dallas Cowboys "Rick Romo". That is just inexcusable.

Bryant should just go back to what he knows:

Figure 1-1: Street Justice

If you have never heard of GCobb before, you should definitely make it a daily ritual. The guy has great contacts-he was the first one to break the story of Asante Samuel going to the birds.

Favorite Tailgating Food/Drink

In this new section of the blog, i will shamelessly hawk food/establishments that I personally feel are relevant to the ultimate tailgating experience. Most of my selections will up the risk of premature diabetes, but well worth the risk. Some areas of consideration in the pros and cons include cost, taste, mess, and ease to prepare while possibly intoxicated.

As my father once told me, "Gluttony ain't a sin if it's good and you ain't full". And with that sentiment, the first food of relevance is.......

Roasted Pork Sandwich

Figure 1-1: I will knock down your pregnant wife to get to one of these

Should be served on/with: Amoroso roll. This is not negotiable. Toppings include extra sharp cheese, peppers (roasted or hot), raw onion, and/or broccoli rabe.

PSU Tailgates Experienced:

• Boston College 2003
• Blue and White 2005 (people were fighting over the juices. Zac won)
• Temple 2007. Bought too much, we didn't have the table space, and limited time killed this one. plus, when the game was over, John G stepped on it while he was stealing rolls from me. Asshat.

Suggested Purchase Amount: 5 lbs will easily feed 15-20 people

Purchase From:

Lennys Italian Deli

900 Fayette Street

Conshohocken, PA 19428

(610) 825-4569

Notes: Make sure to tell them that you are taking it to a tailgate within a certain time frame. This way, they can freeze it for you if you don't have refridgeration means. Have lots of napkins ready.

Pros:

• It's pork. On an Amoroso roll.
• It is incredible.
• It's pork.

Cons

• Expect non-Philadelphians to shy away from the extra sharp cheese. Harass them.
• Time limit. You'd better eat quick before it soaks through. Shouldn't be a problem (for men), unless you have a slow eater. Screw them, more for you.
• Table limitations. You need some catering equipment.

Implements: Catering tray stand, catering tray, water, tongs, chafers, incendiary device.

Serving Instructions: Let tray of seasoned swine defrost overnight. In the morning, make sure you do all your prep work before heading out, and clearly mark your spot on the table for the stuff. Start early-it takes about an hour to fully heat up.

Conclusion: This was pulled off successfully twice; once by myself, and once by my parents. In both cases, the weather accommodated, and there was plenty of forethought. The Temple game was a nightmare; i bought too much, it was brought out too late, the table was small, and people didn't know what they were doing.

Still when it worked, it was bliss.