All that ends now. To get you (ed-even more so) emotionally invested in PSU football, please allow me to give you the smallest insight into our players. First on the list.....
We all know him as #2, the Greenbelt prodigy, a product of The Stable, etc. But these facts really do not give us any insight into the person; it is the minutae of life which defines us. For example, did you know that in the above picture, Derrick is not wearing a shirt? After his freshman year, he took his nipples off with a belt sander and had his jersey tattooed onto his body. True story*. Other interesting facts:
- Had 2 extra canals implanted in each inner ear this summer. The result is far superior balance.
- Can communicate with corn.
- Has no fingerprints. The ridges on his palms and fingers are actually millions of microscopic setae.
- Only person to successfully call Paul Posluszny "chump". Did it twice.
- Hates being called "D-Will". Fears "Greased Pole" might catch on. Is toying with the idea of self-applying "High Heel", 'cause he routinely snaps ankles. Understands self-applying nicknames is against the rule, but is trying to find a way to breach the social norm**.
- Whispers "Mr. Drummond" under his breath when speaking about or to Joe Paterno.
**like starting a blog