Know Your Lions
As previously stated, it's very easy to watch PSU football, get lost in the game, and merely look at our players as athletic pawns in a college system. This cannot happen. These boys that lock it up for our entertainment every weekend are real kids. They have back stories and personalities far more diverse than the humble jerseys they don. Thus, it is the object of these posts to provide the reader with a glimpse of what these guys are really like.
Or, as the opposition skill players call him, "Oshitpleasegodno". Don't know how this is extrapolated from "Odrick", but football players are a funny bunch.
Anyhoo, the following was a list of questions posed* to Jared via questionnaire, and his written responses follow.
Q: What do you feel gives you the advantage at your position?
A: Size, strength and speed in combination with technique. Also, coach Johnson gave me a wristband to be activated during the game that cuts off the flow of blood to my hand on passing downs. Makes it bigger. Quarterbacks hate that.
Q: What do you eat before the game to keep your strength up?
A: Eat? No sir. I drink only the purest Venom (ed-the following illustration was actually provided by Jared**. Note the above-mentioned apparatus).
Q: What music do you listen to on game day?
A: Coach Johnson made me a mix of sounds he recorded in a Kansas City slaughterhouse interwoven with the Notre Dame Fight Song. It gives me the blood-fever. After 45 minutes of exposure, I'm ready for the game.
Q: Favorite JoePa memory?
Q: Favorite JoePa memory?
A: Joe came to visit me my senior year in high school on a recruiting trip. I didn't think much of him until he challenged me to a Rochambeau. He even let me go first. I lost after a 20 minute struggle, but Joe promised if I came to PSU and graduated I would get a rematch.
Q: What is best?
Q: What is best?
A: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the cheerleaders.
*hypothetically
**not provided
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