Favorite Tailgating Food/Drink

"Gluttony ain't a sin if it's good and you ain't full"

Been awhile since I posted one of these, but it's been worth the wait.....

Pepper Shooters

Fig. 1-1: Humina humina humina.....

PSU Tailgate Experience: Every tailgate beginning in the '05 season.

Suggested Purchase Amount: Always go for the large container. Pack 'em in, and then add some of the drippings to keep the jewels properly hydrated. Rotate every hour or so.

Purchase from:

Fig. 1-2: So good they dedicated a wall to it. Next to the above is an entire wall dedicated to Frank Rizzo.

http://www.dibruno.com/

Notes: When purchasing, always check the color of the prosciutto inside. If it's more pale then a healthy pink, select another pepper; the now-ruined item has been sitting in the olive oil too long, and will most likely be salty. Further, pepper seeds really shouldn't be present.

If you do have the opportunity to hit DiBruno's you should do so. You will know when you are there when you enter the store and see:

1. Tight quarters
2. Multiple kinds of aged meats and cheeses hanging from the ceiling.
3. A picture of Mussolini

Fig. 1-3: A glutton's heaven

Further, always go for the red ones (see fig. 1-1). While waiting in line, don't be shy about sampling the world's finest meats and cheeses. When in doubt, ask questions; the staff there rules.

Ingredients (Traditional):

• Marinated cherry peppers
• Sharp Provolone cheese
• Prosciutto

Pros:

• Readily available
• Taste incredible
• Short prep time-just need to plate 'em
• Go great with mozzarella and beer
• Any ingredient by themselves makes for good eatin'
• You luckily found the hot one! Your mouth is on fire!

Cons:

• You mistakenly find the hot one! Your mouth is on fire!

Implements:

• For people with social graces, a knife and plate will be necessary.
• For everyone else, a napkin/paper towel will suffice.

Interesting Facts:

• Many believe this food originated up in a Rhode Island Deli called Daniele Foods.
• It is rumored that the name comes from the phonetic "prosciutto", i.e. "pro-shoot-o", and the Italian (lazy) habit of not pronouncing the last letter in a word if it is a vowel. Or something.

Conclusions: Most alternate places I have purchased these from (commissaries, random delis, etc.) each produce a very good version, so if you can't make it to south Philly, you will still get a good product.

I have to stop posting this type of material before lunch.

Favorite Tailgate Food/Drink

"Gluttony ain't a sin if it's good and you ain't full"

This post is solely dedicated to accelerating onset cirrhosis. Let's get started....

Moose Juice

Figure 1-1: Trust me on this one

PSU Tailgate Experience: I cannot remember a relevant tailgate without this sweet nectar.

Secret Formula:

• 1 large handle of vodka.
• 1 case of beer (12 0z. cans).
• 1 large container of powdered Country Time Lemonade (not pink). For Vitamin C purposes.
• 1 10lb. bag of crushed ice.

Add all contents into mixing container. Stir furiously. Enjoy.

AKA:

• Skippies.
• Happies.

Pros:

• Easy to make.
• Great starter drink if beer is not suitable at 7 AM.
• Counter-intuitively tastes phenomenal.
• Destroys lingering hangover.
• Has attained cult status.
• Prolonged use leads to wanton carnality. Yes, that's a pro.
• It takes a community to make. Makes for great bonding, as in the-tribe-has-worked-together-toward-a-common-goal kind of thing. Assign specific duties and you will see what I mean.

Cons:

• Accelerates the flow of time.
• Goes quickly.

Implements:

• One 5-gallon mixing container.
• Big spoon. No, not Mike Y.
• Large plastic cups.

Ingredients/variations Tried:

• Beer-Coors Light or Miller Light will do.
• Vodka-you can go on the cheap here, but as your attorney, I would advise one big honkin' bottle of Skyy.

Conclusions: As noted above, this drink has almost attained a "cult" status. Let me explain....

If talking to an unfamiliar PSU alum, mention the term and what is in it. They will either knowingly nod with a smirk, or will give you the look my dog used to give me when I would urinate with him outside on his morning walk. That is, a look of bewilderment. Instinct will tell him/her that beer and vodka in the same concoction is a bad idea. Then the alcoholic instinct kicks in. Another way to get f'd up on gameday? Sign me up.

In the tailgating environ itself, the first question normally asked by a rookie has to deal with what is in it. There face will turn sour, and they will seem reticent. I know I was.

Then they slowly knock the first cup back. Bliss ensues, and then they realize all the pros are already quickly devouring the juice. Soon there will be none left.

Possible Side Effects:

Most Notable Experience:

Last year, the crew (pictured above. note the container) traveled to Michigan. We located our tailgate at the high school across the stadium, and next to the entry way to the high school fields. Within one hour, my friend Kevin had the cooler on his shoulder and all PSU fans entering were sticking their heads out of the car, and taking long gulps. God, I love being a PSU fan.

Favorite Talgate Food/Drink

"Gluttony ain't a sin if it's good and you ain't full".

In an ongoing effort to destroy your cholesterol count, the second post in this reoccurring feature will be dedicated to that subtle little appetizer...

Marinated Mozzarella

Figure 1-1: Lactose intolerant people would find these worth it.

PSU Tailgate Experience:

• 2005: B & W, Minnesota, Ohio State, Orange Bowl
• 2006: Central Michigan (i think)

Suggested Purchase Amount: Go for the big container, fatboy. Cram that shit in.

Purchase From:

Claudio Specialty Foods

924-26 South 9th St.

Philadelphia, PA 19147

Toll Free 866-313-FOOD • Tel:(215) 627-1873 • Fax:(215) 627-2320

Notes: Ask the nice Italian lady behind the counter for storage tips. She is a nice woman, but virtuous. Further, most supermarkets now offer good knock-offs of the fresh made stuff. Just rinse it, add a few tablespoons of olive oil, and some dried basil, oregano, and red pepper to get the suitable clone.

Pros:

• Easy to store
• Keeps fresh remarkably well
• Watching Richard (not pictured) lose it when I used to bring them to his apartment for games
• Tastes clean
• Everyone loves mozzarella
• Dick jokes

Cons

• Some jerk will loudly announce his stupidity by alluding to something made by Polly-O. You may correct them in any suitable fashion, which for me would be tossing the obligatory vegetable dish at their heads, because nobody comes to a tailgate for rabbit food. In fact, I recommend you toss it regardless. Hi jinx ensue...
• Jerks who will start popping them in their mouth, and then reach back in the container for more with their bare hands.

Implements:

• Toothpicks. Don't bring many, because the above-mentioned jerk will eventually show up, leading to a bare fingered free-for-all-slobber-fest. Insert genital humor here.
• Napkins. They are covered in olive oil.

Serving Instructions: Buy them, rotate'em every 6 hours if need be. Place them anywhere in the tailgate. Start seeing who can sink one in their friend's mouth from long distance. Again, genital humor.

Conclusions: You really can't mess up with these. Everyone likes them, and it works in all weather conditions.

If you really want to appease the salad folk after throwing their dish at them, just tear up some fresh basil, halve some grape tomatoes and the mozzarella, and add all components to a large bowl. Thoroughly mix, and add some drops of Balsamic Vinaigrette to it. Remember, chicks dig someone who can cook.

Favorite Tailgating Food/Drink

In this new section of the blog, i will shamelessly hawk food/establishments that I personally feel are relevant to the ultimate tailgating experience. Most of my selections will up the risk of premature diabetes, but well worth the risk. Some areas of consideration in the pros and cons include cost, taste, mess, and ease to prepare while possibly intoxicated.

As my father once told me, "Gluttony ain't a sin if it's good and you ain't full". And with that sentiment, the first food of relevance is.......

Roasted Pork Sandwich

Figure 1-1: I will knock down your pregnant wife to get to one of these

Should be served on/with: Amoroso roll. This is not negotiable. Toppings include extra sharp cheese, peppers (roasted or hot), raw onion, and/or broccoli rabe.

PSU Tailgates Experienced:

• Boston College 2003
• Blue and White 2005 (people were fighting over the juices. Zac won)
• Temple 2007. Bought too much, we didn't have the table space, and limited time killed this one. plus, when the game was over, John G stepped on it while he was stealing rolls from me. Asshat.

Suggested Purchase Amount: 5 lbs will easily feed 15-20 people

Purchase From:

Lennys Italian Deli

900 Fayette Street

Conshohocken, PA 19428

(610) 825-4569

Notes: Make sure to tell them that you are taking it to a tailgate within a certain time frame. This way, they can freeze it for you if you don't have refridgeration means. Have lots of napkins ready.

Pros:

• It's pork. On an Amoroso roll.
• It is incredible.
• It's pork.

Cons

• Expect non-Philadelphians to shy away from the extra sharp cheese. Harass them.
• Time limit. You'd better eat quick before it soaks through. Shouldn't be a problem (for men), unless you have a slow eater. Screw them, more for you.
• Table limitations. You need some catering equipment.

Implements: Catering tray stand, catering tray, water, tongs, chafers, incendiary device.

Serving Instructions: Let tray of seasoned swine defrost overnight. In the morning, make sure you do all your prep work before heading out, and clearly mark your spot on the table for the stuff. Start early-it takes about an hour to fully heat up.

Conclusion: This was pulled off successfully twice; once by myself, and once by my parents. In both cases, the weather accommodated, and there was plenty of forethought. The Temple game was a nightmare; i bought too much, it was brought out too late, the table was small, and people didn't know what they were doing.

Still when it worked, it was bliss.

I Give a Hoot..

Figure 1-2: "Mr. Owl, does Temple playing at the Linc have anything to do

with the Eagles being cursed?"

Bloggers note: again, this is not the format i was going for. please bear with me.

That's owl-humor. Get it? Yeah, like you could come up with something better, so back off.

So now onto Temple, and then Michigan State, or as I like to call it, the Ashley Simpson part of the schedule. Not nearly as exciting as their more talented predecessors, but still good enough to masturbate to.

I will be heading up to Philly for the game. Apparently, the lots open 5 hours before kickoff, meaning that I will be openly intoxicated by 8 AM. What's on the menu? Brats, leftover beer from the Michigan road trip(American Ale gets better with time, right?), chips, and the coup de grace, 8 lbs. of roasted pork for sandwiches served with extra sharp cheese, and maybe some broccoli rabe. That's food that Britney Spears would sell her kid for.

What do I expect?

• Temple is actually better this year, so it will not be a blowout until the second half.
• Kinlaw gets the lion share (another mascot pun. am on a roll) of carries when the game is in hand.
• Morelli doesn't see the 4th quarter.
• We open up throwing deep

I am kind of interested to see who will be getting the reps in the 4th (knock on wood).

Prediction:

PSU 41, Temple 17