Michigan Recap

The Good(for the entire game)

• Evan Royster: 17 car, 174 yds, 1 TD
• Deon Butler: 8 rec, 105 yds
• Jeremy Boone: 3 punts, 134 yds, 44.7 ypp

The Bad

• There was nobody who played bad overall for PSU. There was just....

The Ugly

The above pic is a metaphor for the way PSU came out, and that's just because I couldn't find a picture of the first snap sailing over Clark's head. We come out flat, let the other team hang around, and then started playing. Some say that this only makes us stronger. I say bullshit-adversity is faced against good teams in dire situations. When this kind of adversity is overcome, the team gets confidence.

We (the royal we), however, created our own problems by taking 1.5 quarters of vacation. This trend is unsettling, and has happened in too many games played this year.

Other than the offensive miscues (pun intended), WTF was going on with the defense? Every running play, and thus 95% of all plays which were executed by the Michigan offense, were inside the tackles. Yet we backed off, made horrible reads, were pushed around by the Michigan OL, and provided no pressure in the backfield. Early in the first quarter, with Michigan going for it on 4th and short, Bowman had a guy in the backfield (eerily similar to the play he made last week against PJ Hill). He made the hit, and then inexplicably let the guy go. Upon review, it looked like Odrick might have swept his feet out while he was making contact, but still.

It seemed like once we subbed out Hull and Sales, the problems kind of disappeared. We played the run correctly, and figured out that Threet is no threat downfield. After that, we just had to make a play every 3 downs or so and watch Michigan destroy itself. The offense relied on Butler and Royster, which turned out to get the job done without any Spread HD playcalling. It is noted that Hull and Sales were inserted back in the lineup with more positive results.

My insane theory on what the gameplan against Michigan was?

• Michigan is having a down year. Joe knows this. As with Purdue/Wisconsin weeks, PSU is going against a relatively easy team (Michigan) and then a perceived difficult night game on the road (OSU).
• In Purdue we looked bland, but still won. This theory applies in that there was no flashy playcalling against Michigan, just marginal playcalling.
• The slow offensive start in Madison aside, this theory again holds water in that Wisconsin never knew what hit them for 4 quarters of football due to the lack of traditional PSU-style conservatism. And that unheralded innovation is going to be unleashed in Columbus on Saturday night.

Other Notes

• PSU should have rushed more than 4 in the first half of the game. It just seemd that the DL couldn't find their game until the backup LBs came in.
• Odrick is still a manchild
• Congratulations to Kevin Kelly!
• Maybin was still strong.
• Nate Stupar defied emporer Zoltan by stepping in the way of His regal punt. Zoltan ordered Stupar's immediate liquidation, but Stupar had already been carried off to the safety of the underground resistance. DEATH TO SPACE TYRANT ZOLTAN!!!!!
• Norwood dropped a few passes. Weird.
• What streak?

Movin' On

OSU on Saturday night. They are ranked #9, and we are #3. The setting represents past failure, and the last large obstacle to PSU football salvation.

In keeping with my insane theory, I pray PSU will come out with something OSU has never seen before in a PSU defense. Hopefully, it is something along the lines of a 3-4, with Maybin mirroring Pryor. This is similar to what the Eagles do against mobile QBs. Pryor has proved himself as a talented running QB, but not really a passing one. Yet.

The trick is, how do you contain Wells?

Lastly, if we come to Columbus with the execution seen in the first 25 minutes of last game, we will get smoked.

One Last Post...

Because I am bored, and need to flex my imagination....

Know Your Lions

As previously stated, it's very easy to watch PSU football, get lost in the game, and merely look at our players as athletic pawns in a college system. This cannot happen. These boys that lock it up for our entertainment every weekend are real kids. They have back stories and personalities far more diverse than the humble jerseys they don. Thus, it is the object of these posts to provide the reader with a glimpse of what these guys are really like.

In staying with the defensive line, the next badass to be exposed herein is #91, Jared Odrick.

Or, as the opposition skill players call him, "Oshitpleasegodno". Don't know how this is extrapolated from "Odrick", but football players are a funny bunch.

Anyhoo, the following was a list of questions posed* to Jared via questionnaire, and his written responses follow.

Q: What do you feel gives you the advantage at your position?

A: Size, strength and speed in combination with technique. Also, coach Johnson gave me a wristband to be activated during the game that cuts off the flow of blood to my hand on passing downs. Makes it bigger. Quarterbacks hate that.

Q: What do you eat before the game to keep your strength up?

A: Eat? No sir. I drink only the purest Venom (ed-the following illustration was actually provided by Jared**. Note the above-mentioned apparatus).

Q: What music do you listen to on game day?

A: Coach Johnson made me a mix of sounds he recorded in a Kansas City slaughterhouse interwoven with the Notre Dame Fight Song. It gives me the blood-fever. After 45 minutes of exposure, I'm ready for the game.

Q: Favorite JoePa memory?

A: Joe came to visit me my senior year in high school on a recruiting trip. I didn't think much of him until he challenged me to a Rochambeau. He even let me go first. I lost after a 20 minute struggle, but Joe promised if I came to PSU and graduated I would get a rematch.

Q: What is best?

A: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the cheerleaders.

*hypothetically

**not provided

Up North, the Wolverines

It's been awhile-work tends to pile up when you are away on road trips. And slack off. And have unlimited computer access at work and are easily distracted by shiny objects and a Phillies' playoff run. So yeah, I've been busy. Moving on....



So this week the Wolverines (2.0) come into town. They bring with them baggage and failure, which is fine with me. The problem is, as a whole, I just can't hate Michigan. I don't know why; maybe it's because they are traditional rivals to Notre Dame. Or their fans were incredibly nice to us on our road trip last year.

What I do not like about Michigan is the little things. Let's start with the stadium:

1)Michigan Stadium

• Their seats are small for most of our American fatasses. Not mine tho', which comes in handy when your chubby friends sit in your row, but I digress. Thus, the traditional nomenclature of the "Big House" has been attached to said stadium since they can compress more fans into the bleachers. And here comes the PSU inferiority complex:
  

• It's quiet, even when at capacity. You can literally feel the sound being sucked up into the void.
• Their student section blows. Jingle your keys all you want, but it's gay.
• The visitor's section is at the top of the stadium, and wraps around the corner of the endzone. That's just rude.

2) Dick Honig

• 2002. Johnson was clearly in, asshat.
• 2005, 2 seconds.
• 2005, Avant was out.
• 2005, Hart fumbled.
• F#$king DICK HONIG

Other than that, I really don't have a problem with their fans, except for item #2 above. I have never noticed the arrogance theory other blogs ascribe to.

That being said, I hope we stomp them new mudholes this year. Eleven years is a tough run for any team. Trust me, I have a vested interest in Philadelphia sports.

PSU On Defense

Michigan is in a transition year offensively. They have no QB to run RichRod's spread attack, new RBs, and an entire set of inexperienced WRs (which is going to look somewhat familiar to us next year). I fully expect Michigan to come in and run the offense we saw vs. Notre Dame last year, or Wiscy last week. Nothing flashy, just short passes and vanilla running to avoid potential screw-ups. I fully expect PSU to rush 5 or 6, with blitzing LBs providing different looks. Maybin will again act thussly:

PSU On Offense

Michigan does not have a bad defense. In fact, they have a very underrated defensive front seven. What frightens me, and consequently could be the only thing keeping Michigan in this game, is forced turnovers. I take solace in our starters' past few games performance. Clark has shown almost preternatural decision making and accuracy. Royster knows Lawlor and the O-Line will provide the running lane needed, and the starting WRs all have veteran experience.

PSU Special Teams

We have Williams and Kelly, the latter being an asset this year. Emporer Zoltan might be one of the best punters in the universe, but he doesn't kick field goals or act as a return man. Provided Boone is marginal, PSU maintains a clear advantage. Unless Williams loses a fumble.

All signs point to PSU blowing out this Michigan team. How can Michigan possibly win?

• We go into offensive "sphincter mode". I don't see this happening at home against a team that is down.
• Royster's hand injury flares up and he fumbles the ball more than once.
• PSU has an eleven year flashback/panic attack.
• We play "bend don't break". I don't like defenses tired late in the game because they were on the field too much in the first half.
• Michigan is within 14 by the fourth. WE CANNOT LET THIS MICHIGAN TEAM HANG AROUND.

All the above seem improbable. Still, I will not signal victory until the clock runs down.

Final Thoughts

We should have won last year but failed. We better win this year, because Michigan will not be down for long.

Michigan: 6
PSU: 51

EDIT: Most PSU and Michigan blogs have that fateful final play in the 2005 game. That clip will never be posted here. EVER. I can't look at that clip without that feeling of despair and loathing over what could have been. If I were to post it, I would most likely blackout and wake up in a prison cell covered in blood and confusion.

Final Thoughts: Purdue

On Offense:

• Must we always go on the conservative side when on the road?
• Royster is a beast, especially when led by Lawlor
• The only thing that infuriated me was the punt on the Purdue 38(?) yard line.

On Defense

• Hull stepped up. We'll see how he does this week against PJ Hill untill I completely apologize.
• Odrick is an absolute terror. Koromoa looked good.

That's really all I have. I wasn't able to take pics in Purdue (stupid camera), and the stories are just too long to properly explain. Let's move on to this Saturday night.....

...Like you didn't know this was coming.

Illinois Recap

Just some closing thoughts on the awesomeness from Saturday night:

On Offense:

+

+

+

=

(HT: BHGP)

On Defense: As my mother put it, "What's with your middle linebacker? He seemed lost" If my mother figured that out, I suggest we start looking into moving personnel around. Sorry Hull, but it looks like you are the odd man out. We all really want you to do well, but you are just not getting it done.

My final thought before moving on is that I don't believe we should be ranked that high yet (some have us as a top 5 team). We are still relatively untested on the road, and have OSU coming up in a few weeks. That, and we haven't beaten Michigan since the Clinton administration. We also have to play in Madison; although I do feel better about this since they bedshitted against Michigan.

My mood will remain as "cautiously optimistic" until said games are completed.

Movin' On: Purdue

On Thursday evening I leave for Purdue. Me, 16 friends, 2 RVs, 9 cases of Old German, and West Lafayette. I will be trying to blog with updates on this trip to show the rest of you why one should try and make it to at least one away game per year.

What do I expect out of PSU? I will be happy if we don't revert to the vanilla offense, and we come away with a victory. That is all. Low expectations, truthfully, but the past two trips were to Notre Dame (2006) and Michigan (2007). And now you understand why.

Preview: Illinois

The above picture is of Chief Illiniwek, who was wrongfully removed as the Illinois mascot. Yes, I am bitter about these PC Nazi moves. Was it a badass logo? Scientific studies reveal that yes, indeed it was.

So they went and got rid of the mascot and tradition. Given the same scenario, and I had to chose a new school mascot, I would have gone with The Fightin' Lemans.

WARNING: In women, prolonged exposure to this picture may result in

spontaneous pregnancy.

Seriously, is there anything more inspiring than this picture? The All-American good looks and haircut to boot. And let us not forget about the awesome necktie. Picture this: it's late in the game, you are down by 6, and exhausted. Or, your planet is being invaded by aliens. Whichever. You turn and see this mullet-god inspiration sprinting toward you, waving a flag, and screaming for you to get up and fight. That would be more than enough to press me through whatever pain and exhaustion I might be feeling.

O, and he was a damn fine linebacker as well.....

On to the football...

One of the most bitter losses I have ever experienced came at the hands of Illinois last year. The scenario was that PSU was coming off of a devastating loss in Michigan, and needed something to pull this team together. Our first drive netted a Kevin Kelly field goal. The ensuing kickoff saw an untouched Arrelious Benn take it 90 yards to paydirt. The lone offensive highlight in game full of errors was Derrick Williams torching the Illinois secondary. The rest was full of Morelli thick-headed turnovers, lack of execution, etc. Given the above, it was weird that we were even still in this game with 27 seconds left. Again, Morelli removed all hope of victory by displaying his trademark unclutch abilities.

O, and Leman had an interception. But I digress.

In short, I just felt empty after that game. These were two games that PSU should have won, but didn't. This year, I want revenge.

Even with the loss of Rashard Mendenhall, Illinois has a few weapons we are to be concerned about:

The Juice
Illinois returns starter Isiah John "Juice" Williams*, who looked somewhat impressive in the opener against Missouri. However, it was probably due to a crappy Missouri defense then anything else. I guess we'll find out when Missouri rolls through its lackluster schedule and hits a bowl game against a real opponent. His numbers through the air: 26/42, 451 yards, 5 TDs, 2 Int. He also rushed 19 times for 10 yards.

Against Eastern Illinois, Juice was a nightmare on the ground (16 car., 174 yards, 2 TDs), and meh as a QB (16/25. 124 yards, 1 TD, 2 Int.).

Against Louisiana-Lafayette, Juice went 13/25, 147 yards, 1 TD, 1 Int, and picket up another 35 yards on the ground on 11 tries.

Benn
This guy legitimately gives me nightmares. Last year, he was everywhere: 5 rushes for 8 yards, 6 catches for 84 yards and a TD, and a kick return for a TD. Not bad for a freshman.

Daniel Dufrene
Dufrene is off to a good start as a starter for the Illini, averaging 6.7 ypc and 100 ypg. Although he hasn't made it to the end zone this year, has has rolled up the numbers that would warrant attention.

What is most important to remember about last year's fuckup is that we did take Juice out of the game. Outside of a good first quarter, Juice was highly ineffective, and had to be replaced later by some chump named McGee. I have no doubt that our game plan regarding him is to simply keep him in the pocket, and force him to make bad plays. Getting Koroma and Evans back, even in limited roles, will no doubt bolster this stratagem. Other than that, keep a safety (Scirrotto) dedicated to Benn to remove anything over the top, keep an eye on Dufrene, and defensively we should have a good game.

Offensively, the only worry I have about PSU is losing the ball. There have been 11 times thus far the ball has hit the ground; while PSU has been lucky in recovering the majority of them, this is far too many. Add to this that the ball may be slick due to inclement weather, and we have the potential for a nightmare. Last year's game was decided by turnovers, and hopefully history won't repeat itself.

O, and PSU has the small intangibles of a night game and the White Out. Feelin' good about this one.

The final score:
Illinois 13
PSU 31

EDIT: ESPN this morning displayed on its ticker that Koroma and Evans will be playing this weekend dispite their legal infractions. There was no mention that they had both been suspended for 3 games, missed practice, etc.

*"Juice" has turned into a remarkably bad nickname in the past 14 years or so. Might want to go with something else here.

Surfacing Briefly....

My time has been tight what with the end of the fiscal year coming up, so my blogging (or attempts thereof) has been severely curtailed. Yes, I have actually had to do work. So until the road trip next week, please don't expect that much out of me other than the occasional line or two.

My thoughts on the past 4 games?

• Big ups to Jay and Galen. I absolutely love the playcalling, and how in almost every play multiple skill players can be used. Of course, it helps to have a man-beast QB that can read defenses. Just sayin'....
• Jerome Hayes went down. This gives me sorrow to which I cannot ever write about. Sometimes, I think Niche was right.
• Get Evans and Koroma back in there for Illinois. I am pretty sure by now they understand what they did and how it effects the team.
• As predicted, Navarro Bowman appears to be THE NEXT ONE.....
• We are deficient in special team coverage, and turn the ball over too much.

So there ya have it. We ate our cupcakes, they tasted good, and now onto the conference schedule entree. Selah.

Know Your Lions

As previously stated, it's very easy to watch PSU football, get lost in the game, and merely look at our players as athletic pawns in a college system. This cannot happen. These boys that lock it up for our entertainment every weekend are real kids. They have back stories, most of them far more colorful than the humble jerseys they don. It's just a shame that most of us will never get so much as a glimpse into their personal lives.

The next student-athlete in the queue for this feature has to be Jack Crawford.

As we all know that Jack is a little late in picking up the game of football; he was born in England, and originally came to America to play basketball. Basically, he has a freakish size/speed matchup (6' 6", 260, 4.55), but is underdeveloped due to lack of experience. This will change under LJ Sr. (See Hali, Tamba).

I recently sat down with young Jack* to write about the odds and ends of his life. The following are just some things that people should know about him:

1. Once beat the shit out of Tunney O'Hanlon. Then slammed an entire case of bitter, sang "God Save the Queen", and pleasured every woman in the room.
2. Speaks when spoken to around LJ Sr.
3. Believes rugby is for "wankers".
4. Worked hard in the offseason to eradicate English accent by living in North Jersey.
5. Distrusts the Welsh.
6. Has this picture posted over his locker as fuel for playing Michigan.
7. Can rhyme any word with "purple".
8. Thinks Braveheart was a good enough movie, but would like to remind everyone that on June 19, 1306, Robert the Bruce's Scottish rebels were defeated at the Battle of Methven.
9. Mo Evans calls him the "Limey prick trying to take my job". Secretly hopes that this is just a nickname, and wants to be his BFF. That is why he moved to DT.
10. Hates urinals.

So there ya have it. Don't be afraid to confront Jack with his personal information, as listed above. I'm sure he will laugh**.

*no I didn't
**he won't. and for the love of God, don't tell him I said any of this.