Illinois Recap

Just some closing thoughts on the awesomeness from Saturday night:

On Offense:

+

+

+

=

(HT: BHGP)

On Defense: As my mother put it, "What's with your middle linebacker? He seemed lost" If my mother figured that out, I suggest we start looking into moving personnel around. Sorry Hull, but it looks like you are the odd man out. We all really want you to do well, but you are just not getting it done.

My final thought before moving on is that I don't believe we should be ranked that high yet (some have us as a top 5 team). We are still relatively untested on the road, and have OSU coming up in a few weeks. That, and we haven't beaten Michigan since the Clinton administration. We also have to play in Madison; although I do feel better about this since they bedshitted against Michigan.

My mood will remain as "cautiously optimistic" until said games are completed.

Movin' On: Purdue

On Thursday evening I leave for Purdue. Me, 16 friends, 2 RVs, 9 cases of Old German, and West Lafayette. I will be trying to blog with updates on this trip to show the rest of you why one should try and make it to at least one away game per year.

What do I expect out of PSU? I will be happy if we don't revert to the vanilla offense, and we come away with a victory. That is all. Low expectations, truthfully, but the past two trips were to Notre Dame (2006) and Michigan (2007). And now you understand why.

Preview: Illinois

The above picture is of Chief Illiniwek, who was wrongfully removed as the Illinois mascot. Yes, I am bitter about these PC Nazi moves. Was it a badass logo? Scientific studies reveal that yes, indeed it was.

So they went and got rid of the mascot and tradition. Given the same scenario, and I had to chose a new school mascot, I would have gone with The Fightin' Lemans.

WARNING: In women, prolonged exposure to this picture may result in

spontaneous pregnancy.

Seriously, is there anything more inspiring than this picture? The All-American good looks and haircut to boot. And let us not forget about the awesome necktie. Picture this: it's late in the game, you are down by 6, and exhausted. Or, your planet is being invaded by aliens. Whichever. You turn and see this mullet-god inspiration sprinting toward you, waving a flag, and screaming for you to get up and fight. That would be more than enough to press me through whatever pain and exhaustion I might be feeling.

O, and he was a damn fine linebacker as well.....

On to the football...

One of the most bitter losses I have ever experienced came at the hands of Illinois last year. The scenario was that PSU was coming off of a devastating loss in Michigan, and needed something to pull this team together. Our first drive netted a Kevin Kelly field goal. The ensuing kickoff saw an untouched Arrelious Benn take it 90 yards to paydirt. The lone offensive highlight in game full of errors was Derrick Williams torching the Illinois secondary. The rest was full of Morelli thick-headed turnovers, lack of execution, etc. Given the above, it was weird that we were even still in this game with 27 seconds left. Again, Morelli removed all hope of victory by displaying his trademark unclutch abilities.

O, and Leman had an interception. But I digress.

In short, I just felt empty after that game. These were two games that PSU should have won, but didn't. This year, I want revenge.

Even with the loss of Rashard Mendenhall, Illinois has a few weapons we are to be concerned about:

The Juice
Illinois returns starter Isiah John "Juice" Williams*, who looked somewhat impressive in the opener against Missouri. However, it was probably due to a crappy Missouri defense then anything else. I guess we'll find out when Missouri rolls through its lackluster schedule and hits a bowl game against a real opponent. His numbers through the air: 26/42, 451 yards, 5 TDs, 2 Int. He also rushed 19 times for 10 yards.

Against Eastern Illinois, Juice was a nightmare on the ground (16 car., 174 yards, 2 TDs), and meh as a QB (16/25. 124 yards, 1 TD, 2 Int.).

Against Louisiana-Lafayette, Juice went 13/25, 147 yards, 1 TD, 1 Int, and picket up another 35 yards on the ground on 11 tries.

Benn
This guy legitimately gives me nightmares. Last year, he was everywhere: 5 rushes for 8 yards, 6 catches for 84 yards and a TD, and a kick return for a TD. Not bad for a freshman.

Daniel Dufrene
Dufrene is off to a good start as a starter for the Illini, averaging 6.7 ypc and 100 ypg. Although he hasn't made it to the end zone this year, has has rolled up the numbers that would warrant attention.

What is most important to remember about last year's fuckup is that we did take Juice out of the game. Outside of a good first quarter, Juice was highly ineffective, and had to be replaced later by some chump named McGee. I have no doubt that our game plan regarding him is to simply keep him in the pocket, and force him to make bad plays. Getting Koroma and Evans back, even in limited roles, will no doubt bolster this stratagem. Other than that, keep a safety (Scirrotto) dedicated to Benn to remove anything over the top, keep an eye on Dufrene, and defensively we should have a good game.

Offensively, the only worry I have about PSU is losing the ball. There have been 11 times thus far the ball has hit the ground; while PSU has been lucky in recovering the majority of them, this is far too many. Add to this that the ball may be slick due to inclement weather, and we have the potential for a nightmare. Last year's game was decided by turnovers, and hopefully history won't repeat itself.

O, and PSU has the small intangibles of a night game and the White Out. Feelin' good about this one.

The final score:
Illinois 13
PSU 31

EDIT: ESPN this morning displayed on its ticker that Koroma and Evans will be playing this weekend dispite their legal infractions. There was no mention that they had both been suspended for 3 games, missed practice, etc.

*"Juice" has turned into a remarkably bad nickname in the past 14 years or so. Might want to go with something else here.

Surfacing Briefly....

My time has been tight what with the end of the fiscal year coming up, so my blogging (or attempts thereof) has been severely curtailed. Yes, I have actually had to do work. So until the road trip next week, please don't expect that much out of me other than the occasional line or two.

My thoughts on the past 4 games?

• Big ups to Jay and Galen. I absolutely love the playcalling, and how in almost every play multiple skill players can be used. Of course, it helps to have a man-beast QB that can read defenses. Just sayin'....
• Jerome Hayes went down. This gives me sorrow to which I cannot ever write about. Sometimes, I think Niche was right.
• Get Evans and Koroma back in there for Illinois. I am pretty sure by now they understand what they did and how it effects the team.
• As predicted, Navarro Bowman appears to be THE NEXT ONE.....
• We are deficient in special team coverage, and turn the ball over too much.

So there ya have it. We ate our cupcakes, they tasted good, and now onto the conference schedule entree. Selah.

Know Your Lions

As previously stated, it's very easy to watch PSU football, get lost in the game, and merely look at our players as athletic pawns in a college system. This cannot happen. These boys that lock it up for our entertainment every weekend are real kids. They have back stories, most of them far more colorful than the humble jerseys they don. It's just a shame that most of us will never get so much as a glimpse into their personal lives.

The next student-athlete in the queue for this feature has to be Jack Crawford.

As we all know that Jack is a little late in picking up the game of football; he was born in England, and originally came to America to play basketball. Basically, he has a freakish size/speed matchup (6' 6", 260, 4.55), but is underdeveloped due to lack of experience. This will change under LJ Sr. (See Hali, Tamba).

I recently sat down with young Jack* to write about the odds and ends of his life. The following are just some things that people should know about him:

1. Once beat the shit out of Tunney O'Hanlon. Then slammed an entire case of bitter, sang "God Save the Queen", and pleasured every woman in the room.
2. Speaks when spoken to around LJ Sr.
3. Believes rugby is for "wankers".
4. Worked hard in the offseason to eradicate English accent by living in North Jersey.
5. Distrusts the Welsh.
6. Has this picture posted over his locker as fuel for playing Michigan.
7. Can rhyme any word with "purple".
8. Thinks Braveheart was a good enough movie, but would like to remind everyone that on June 19, 1306, Robert the Bruce's Scottish rebels were defeated at the Battle of Methven.
9. Mo Evans calls him the "Limey prick trying to take my job". Secretly hopes that this is just a nickname, and wants to be his BFF. That is why he moved to DT.
10. Hates urinals.

So there ya have it. Don't be afraid to confront Jack with his personal information, as listed above. I'm sure he will laugh**.

*no I didn't
**he won't. and for the love of God, don't tell him I said any of this.

Know Your Lions

It's very easy to watch PSU football, get lost in the game, and merely look at our players as athletic pawns in a college system. This cannot happen. These boys that lock it up for our entertainment every weekend are real kids. They have back stories, most of them far more colorfull than the humble jerseys they don. It's just a shame that most of us will never get so much as a glimpse into their personal lives.

All that ends now. To get you (ed-even more so) emotionally invested in PSU football, please allow me to give you the smallest insight into our players. First on the list.....

Derrick Williams

We all know him as #2, the Greenbelt prodigy, a product of The Stable, etc. But these facts really do not give us any insight into the person; it is the minutae of life which defines us. For example, did you know that in the above picture, Derrick is not wearing a shirt? After his freshman year, he took his nipples off with a belt sander and had his jersey tattooed onto his body. True story*. Other interesting facts:

• Had 2 extra canals implanted in each inner ear this summer. The result is far superior balance.
• Can communicate with corn.
• Has no fingerprints. The ridges on his palms and fingers are actually millions of microscopic setae.
• Only person to successfully call Paul Posluszny "chump". Did it twice.
• Hates being called "D-Will". Fears "Greased Pole" might catch on. Is toying with the idea of self-applying "High Heel", 'cause he routinely snaps ankles. Understands self-applying nicknames is against the rule, but is trying to find a way to breach the social norm**.
• Whispers "Mr. Drummond" under his breath when speaking about or to Joe Paterno.

*not true
**like starting a blog

Final Thoughts, Week 1

Just some random thoughts while watching the DVR'd game:

• Moments before kickoff, the "WE ARE" chant was performed in fine fashion. There was one CC player on the sideline who was shaking his head, trying to convince himself that the sound wasn't affecting him (#83, I believe). I don't think he's a very good salesman.
• Good run stuffing up the middle. Odrick is a beast. Baker who?
• Gaines and Evans looked ready.
• DWill stays on his feet after contact. Ran a great WR screen. Me likey.
• Clark's first pass was a gem. So was the second. I'm not used to seeing on target passes and crisp decision making. Keep it up.
• Good playcalling. For all the guff I give JayPa, I have to say I was impressed by the job Jay and Galen did. Further, neither QB ran. While this is due to good OL play, but also due to the offensive stratagem of just keeping the QB in the pocket on purpose.
• Jerome Hayes came in and had a great first step. Good to see.
• Devlin has a sweet touch. However, I just thought that the offense moved better with Clarke.
• BANI-BANI-BANI.......OY-OY-OY! Other than that pick, I thought the LBs were a little soft in coverage.

Other wise, I was very happy with the results, considering we were playing a cupcake. No real injuries, everyone got a few plays, and both QBs looked solid. As expected the line and the running game was pimp. That being said, I fully expect Oregon to come into town next week and test the LB coverage. The back seven better be ready.

So far, off to a good start. Let's keep going.....

Tony Hunt Update

Lookin' Good in Midnight Green

A little over a week ago, PSU football alumnus/Tennessee nightmare Tony Hunt was asked to play FB on the Iggles. Not a bad move. Andy Reid finally realizes that kind of talent just can't be bottled up on the sideline. The only problem I have with this move is the timing; why wasn't this done at the end of last season? Now, Tony has to move to a position he is only slightly familiar with in an exponentially more intricate offense.

So how has Tony performed? Depends. As far as FBs go, he is marginal-he just lacks size. If he had the opportunity in the offseason to gain some weight, it might change things. That being said, I am currently going over the last two dvr'd games, and I have to admit: I am kind of excited about this.

Tony, at FB, has thusfar excelled in blitz pickup, as well as picking up a LB last night in a run blitz. He made an outstanding play on special teams, and has caught the ball with great poise out of the backfield. The first half was going great for him against the Jets' scrubs-he did all main functions of a FB (lead blocking, pass blocking, and short yardage). However, the last play wherein he was the lead blocker for Booker, he reverted to a RB, hit the hole hard, and didn't wait for Booker to follow him. The result was a Jets LB shooting the gap and making an easy play. His only mistake, really.

In short, I am happy with this move-Tony gets some serious PT, and a chance to show what he can do. He is still marginal in lead blocking, but he showed good signs of improvement last night, albeit against the backups.

/takes off Iggles glasses.

Now that the bias is removed, I would hate this move if I were a non-Iggles PSU fan. Why? Tony is a RB. He is a punishing, between the tackles bruiser who gets better with every carry during the game. Moving him to FB might get him some more experience, but not at the position he was designed for. The Eagles should release him, and let another team put him in his natural position. Which looks like this:

/puts glasses back on

In looking at the RB situation, it would appear that this move is most likely temporary. In this case, Buckhalter is in the last year of his contract, and Booker isn't going anywhere. After Buck is gone, Tony slides back to RB, and in 3 years is a compliment to Booker (should be other way around-ed) as Westbrook winds down.

PSU vs. CC

Right now, every PSU blog is producing some kind of in-depth preview of Coastal Carolina. And that's fine-they all do wonderful jobs in their own right.

You will receive none of that here, for the reasons set forth in the last post. It's ridiculous. Why would I spend my time researching a team I cannot take seriously? Yes, I'm bitter, and TINNOMJ has done a great job already breaking down what our third stringers will be facing.

What do I hope for?

• No injuries.
• Clarke and Devlin show competent execution through the air.
• Good weather.

So welcome to Happy Valley, Chanticleers. Your money is on the dresser. We're done here, whore.

PSU 45 CC -10

EDIT: admittedly, Mike over at BSD gives me some perspective on why I should go to this game. Well played, Mike. You almost sold me. Almost.

Moving on...

Admiral Akbar Award for Week 1

This season's inaugural AAA goes to.....

Nah. Just kidding. Too easy/obvious to be a "trap" game for Michigan. Last year's bedshitting to Appalachian State is still fresh in their minds and noses, and I highly doubt Michigan will be playing conservative football. I fully expect Michigan to come out swinging, DickRod style, minus the token 10 bubble screen gameplan. You don't remember what happened last year? OK, one last time:

Verily, schadenfreude at its best. Still, I am sure this weekend the Michigan faithful will be a little uneasy until the final gun. And for those faithful, I offer comfort in case of defeat: you still get to play Penn State. There is always hope.

No, I hereby award the following matchup into the Order of Akbar:

Why you say? A number of factors. For one, USC has a date with TOSU next week, a #2 vs. #3. I'm pretty sure USC will opt for conservatism in lieu of preparation for upcoming schedule.

Further, as of late, USC usually has one or two head-scratching losses per year. These guys are so loaded with (paid) talent every year, it's near-inconceivable that they drop a game to say, Stanford (2007), Oregon State and UCLA (2006). Why not get their inevitable loss to an unranked team out of the way now, and then run the table to get a shot at the national championship? Why not indeed.

That, and I truly dislike USC. Not as much as Notre Dame, but maybe a distant second.

LOOK OUT USC! ITS A TRAP!